This is not me telling you to stop living. This is me telling you to START.

I have always been the type of person that is completely content in the station of life that I am in. I abhor the feeling of wanting to get something over with, and I am mostly a "live in the moment" sort of person, so I like to get the most out of what I'm actually doing at any given time. I never wanted to be a different age than I was, growing up, either. I was happy to be a kid when I was young. I was happy to be a teenager when I was 16. I was happy to be in college when I was doing that. I did grow a little impatient to get finished with college, but I believe that was because I transferred colleges, switched majors twice, and got married and had a kid in the middle, so it took me a LONG time to get my degree. Not to mention, it was a really long degree. But I enjoyed my student teaching experience when I got there, and I was really excited most of the time to be doing whatever it was I was doing.

The same thing with my first pregnancy. I was really uncomfortable at the end, but I was still happy to be pregnant until the week that I ended up being told I was going to be induced anyway. That week, I had pitting edemas (I was so swollen that when you pressed on my skin, it sank in and did not bounce back out, making "pits"), my face and nose were so swollen that you could hardly recognize me (I thought), I could barely walk because I couldn't flex my ankles, and I was a little bit scared as my daughter and stomach had stopped growing. Luckily, my obstetrician shared my worries and gave me a few more days before inducing.

This time, I am really healthy. I haven't gained much weight, mostly because I didn't lose any of the 70 pounds I gained with Jocelyn, so I was technically "obese" when I got pregnant, but also because I had some NASTY morning sickness in the first half. I will never forget asking my mom to make her famous boef bourguignon for my birthday this year, and then her half-laughing at my disgusted face as I tried to choke down as much as possible of it. It tasted so good, but I could barely keep anything down! Back to the point, I haven't gained much weight this pregnancy, just over 10 pounds (3 of which were this week, oops). I'm healthy and I've been eating a lot better than I was able to with my first pregnancy. I'm also happier. My husband and I had literally JUST gotten married when we became pregnant with our first child. I came home from our honeymoon, expecting to start my "cycle" within two days, and I never did. So, not only did we have to get used to being married, but I was a hormonal wreck and my husband didn't know what he had gotten himself into. Then, we had to make room in our already cramped and new life for another person. We were less than prepared, and our marriage suffered for it at first. It's hard enough to get married and learn to live with that person without adding another crazy life changing element! My husband and I, when we got pregnant this time, were still not expecting the pregnancy, but we were happier about it and better prepared in the foundation of our marriage to handle another little person being entrusted to our care. Besides, my husband realizes now that sometimes, I'm just not very nice (and especially when I'm pregnant), and it really has absolutely nothing to do with him personally! Ha!

However, in spite of all of these things, I am extremely impatient to get this baby out and get back to being able to move around. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at 9 weeks, and I was induced at 38 weeks to the day. This time, I knew I was pregnant within less than 3 weeks, and I'm 38 weeks and 4 days as of tonight. So, it's been a "longer" pregnancy, in a way. Also, I am not as anxious/scared for how it will go in the hospital, so I'm prepared to get there and push the baby out. One thing that I am anxious about that makes me want to go into labor faster? I have no idea what it's like to just go into labor spontaneously, or to have my water break. I don't know what to expect. With Jocelyn, I had a scheduled time to go to the hospital, get into a gown, and get hooked up to an IV to get started. After a while, my water was broken for me, so when I got up to go to the bathroom, I wasn't surprised to find myself leaking, and I had a little blood to go with it since it was broken unnaturally, so I knew exactly what was going on. Plus, there were nurses around all the time to coach me and tell me what was going on. It took almost an entire day in the hospital before I was able to hold the baby in my arms, but it was all so predictable. This time, I keep feeling like it's going to happen, like I'll go into labor... and then for a day, I feel fine (if tired), great in fact, and have few contractions. I don't know what it feels like to have a "real" contraction. I don't really know what menstrual cramps feel like, so comparing it to those doesn't help. I didn't feel the contractions in the hospital until they were bad enough to make me want to have an epidural, until the pain was at about a 7 or 8 on the scale. I keep getting pains that aren't really anything like a cramp, and I'm not sure what those are. So... I have no idea if I'll be in the 25% that have their waters break before they go into hard labor, and I have no idea if I'll know that I'm in labor until it's really close to time to push. This, for me, makes me want to get to that stage so I know what's going to happen.

I also want to meet the baby. I'm ready to know what she will be like, if she will have black hair like her sister did, or be toe-headed like I was. What we will choose to name her for certain. Will she cry, or just look at me with baby blues like her sister, taking in the scenery? What will her sister think of her, for real? Will she understand as well as she seems to now? How will it feel to love two children? I love my daughter so much, more than you can imagine before you have kids. It's so different, the love of a mother for her daughter. But, she's so special. How will I love the next one? Will it be the same? Will it be different? Will it be... both the same and different? Will I feel so strongly for this one, or will it be more casual because I've done it all before? I want Jocelyn to feel all the same things I feel, because she's my daughter and I love her and... that's the way our relationship works. What if she resents this baby? How will that change how I feel? I can't know these things until the baby comes. So I am EXTREMELY impatient to find out.

Strange thing happened, though, yesterday and this morning. I decided to pray about it, to give this up because I can't decide when this baby is coming. She's got to come on God's time. "Baby's have no concept of the clock," many wise moms have said, "they come when they're ready." But I was SO impatient, and I abhor that feeling of waiting for something to happen for my life to be content. So, I prayed, and said to God, "I know that you know better than I do what will be the perfect time for this baby to arrive. You have knowledge of things that are beyond my reach. So, I pray she comes when she's supposed to come, and when it works out the best for all involved, and I pray that I have peace until that time." Or, something to that effect.

I talked to my mom this morning. She's kind of my go-to person to help me with Jocelyn and be here for me when the baby comes. I've kind of wondered if I should ask her to come sooner, because I feel really alone and like I can't get anything done on my own anymore, and I just want my mommy. But then when I talked to her, I found out she's super sick with a sinus infection that is also wreaking havoc on her digestive tract, and she can't come right now anyway. She wasn't going to say that, I don't think, but I told her not to be worried and just relax and get better, because I felt today as if the baby had a while longer (I had been feeling like it was any time now, but I think maybe that was wishful thinking giving me psychosomatic labor symptoms). Then she said "that's great, because I don't think I could make it there right now."

God's timing. Baby's not ready. Gram's not ready.

Jocelyn is ready, though. I didn't tell her Gram was coming when the baby came, or that she got to go home with Gram for a while after the baby came, but today: "When is Gram coming? Is she going to take me to her house soon?" "Where's my Gram? I want Gram." And "I want Gram, and I want Papa too. He can come if Gram still is taking me to Gram's house." That's one smart kiddo. Must have heard me talking about it.

So, if you're the type of person that is always wanting something to change, always thinking "if only ___, then I'd be happy"... listen up. You'll always want more that way. Be happy with what you've got, or change it now! Then be happy with that. Don't continue to want more, or different, or whatever. Just be happy. Be happy that you're in the transition. Be happy that you're searching for something new to make you happy. Be happy you're doing the work you need to be doing right now. Work hard so that you can play hard. Because I can't imagine living life like that. Why bother living if you're never going to be happy, always looking for something more? This is not me telling you to stop living. This is me telling you to START. I can't hardly stand it, and I'm glad I got rid of the feeling and I am slowly reminding myself that, hey, you're pregnant, and you may never be pregnant again, so you might as well enjoy the perks, even if they are few and far between. I am reminding myself not to worry about labor, my family, if my baby will be anywhere near as sweet and well-behaved as my daughter... because I can't do much about it, nothing at the moment, anyway.

Take it from me, it's so much better to "begin everyday as if it were on purpose."

my blog "journal" eulogy

I lost my blog journal. This is where I store ideas and thoughts that I wish to use or to turn into blog posts. I did not lose it in the way that I misplaced it, or do not know where it is by any means. It's right here. My three-year-old more "commandeered" it. Yeah.

It was a pretty notebook, probably a little larger than 5x7 inches, and had a pretty green, brick red, and brown pattern on it, flowers but not too "floral" if that makes any sense. It had three sections, marked off just by having the middle 75 pages edged in brown ink, the others merely with brown ink lines to keep my writing straight.

I really liked this notebook. Can you tell? I'm super picky about notebooks, especially for jotting down ideas versus taking notes for a class. This one was kinda perfect for both, though, actually. I used the first section for a class on Bible prophecy that I went to, and then I was using it for sermon notes and other Biblically-based thoughts. Then the second section, I had used for little notes to myself, so I started using this section also for notes for the blog, since this paralleled nicely. And then...

My daughter decided one day to "take notes" on a sermon we were watching online. It was SO CUTE that I let her use a few pages. Bad idea. Never let the three-year-old do something ONCE and act like it's so cool/cute unless you want it to continue exactly the same way. EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. So, she has been taking my pens and "writing" in this notebook. I can still use it for little blog ideas, but since it really was my parenting fault that led to her use of the notebook on a constant basis, I really felt like I should just give it up and go buy myself a new one.

You have to pick your battles.

I have been failing constantly at this recently, so I decided to let this one go.

However, I have been able to salvage some of the post ideas, and I will be using them again soon. I am very regretful that I have been posting so seldom! Sorry, readers and fellow bloggers. I do feel it is important to keep putting stuff out there and keep blogging often, and I will try this again... I'm setting a day of the week, and if I haven't blogged by that day, I will post something before I go to bed that night. So, readers, be ready! I will have more posts, as interesting as possible, for your reading pleasure!

Oh, and I did find another notebook. I'm trying to keep it hidden from Dear Daughter. It is brown and teal with a floral/paisley pattern. And clean of ANY SCRIBBLES so far. (Cross your fingers, or pray for my slightly OCD way of emotionally handling notebooks...)

Momnesia: The Shrinking Brain

We all know that when we are confronted with a pregnant woman that seems to be forgetful, this is just par for the course. This lady can't do a thing about it! But is this a psychological phenomenon, based solely on the distraction of growing this new life and having to prepare for it? Or is it also physical, effected by hormones and other physiological changes? And what can we do about it?

I definitely have suffered momnesia. I have worked hard for over a decade to get better about knowing exactly where my keys are, what I need at the grocery store, and what my to-do's and deadlines consist of that day. I felt great the past year before my recent pregnancy, because I had finally gotten over the newness of having a daughter and being a college graduate with a job, and I had gotten into a groove. No more lost keys, no more "where's my cell phone?" ... Well, okay, sometimes, but it did become a lot more calm and I felt so much more "myself." So, was this just because I had psychologically gotten used to it? Was it that my daughter slept 12 hours at a time, and I finally got the sleep I needed on a regular basis? Or did I finally get over that hormone hump?

USAToday.com put out an article I recently read on the phenomenon now being labeled as "momnesia." Basically, this article, among other I've read surrounding the issue, has said "yes" to all of the questions. Yes, it is sleep deprivation! Yes, hormones play a huge part, in three ways: (1) The amazingly high level of hormones that women have during pregnancy and for a few months after giving birth can in fact have an effect on concentration as well as perceived IQ. The level of hormones that continue to be coursed through the system of breastfeeding women tend to be just enough to cause a slightly elevated mood along with that generally pleasant "fuzzy brain" feeling... Pleasant until you're trying to corral multiple kids, make a marketing plan, or otherwise get something accomplished with a common outcome of "what was I doing again?" (2) Levels of hormones going from so high back to 'normal' can take a big toll on the body (and mind!). And (3) ... what was the third way again? I'll think of it...

"Stress, sleep deprivation and postpartum hormonal swings are definitely mind-altering" so says one of the experts quoted in the USAToday.com article. In fact, the article states that fathers get some of the changes, too, proving it is not SOLELY physical. Which, to me, was obvious. One of the major life stressors and changes is having a baby, be it the first or the fifth (not sure about past that...).



So, it's physical as much as psychological. Groovy. Now what do I do about it?

Here are my tips to moms going through the mess:

• Leave yourself post-its. I know a woman whom left a post-it on her baby. I have, though this was before I had kids, left myself a post-it reminding me to look at my post-it. "<---LOOK!" It worked! I looked.
• Leave yourself voicemails. I am reminded of an episode of the TV show Gilmore Girls in which Lorelai and her friend were refurbishing an old inn and trying to start up a new business there. She could not sleep and left herself something like 26 messages at the workplace for her floor manager to listen to when he came in! This is an extreme case, but if you listen to your voicemail regularly, it could help to clear your mind.
• Keep pen and paper (or post-it) at various locations around the house as well as a set in your purse or car. This way, if you have a thought, you can write it down immediately. You might have to check a few pads of paper to find it, but at least you can rest assured that, in case that was an important thought, you did jot it down somewhere.
• If you don't already have one, GET A DATEBOOK! Find something that works for you. Franklin Covey is a great company that offers anyone training on how to find and use a planning system that is custom-fit for them. Or, you can just shop around. Their site is awesome and you can find just about anything you need. I do, however, suggest going to one of their stores in person the first time. This way, you can really tell someone that knows the products well what you need, and they can direct you to something that will be more personalized for you and have more likelihood of success. I just can't stress enough, however, the importance of having a place to go to for your to-do list and your schedule. This could even be as simple as a calendar with some space to write your schedule and a post-it with your goals for the day stuck on the date or the front of the book.
• Take a breather. Take some time for yourself every day. Whether you're staring off into space with your morning coffee, or reading a good book before bed, or pruning your garden, or knitting... I don't care! Do something every day that's JUST FOR YOU. Not on Facebook, not doing something utilitarian, just something you want to do and that is relaxing for you to do by yourself. In part, this blog is something I do for myself. But I also read, take relaxing baths (even if I'm not dirty), and sometimes I just go and sit on my bed with the door closed so that I can be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes. If you're a single (or often alone) parent, you can still do this: Is there a time that your child is completely engrossed in something? TV? Game? Art/craft that's not too messy? Take a step or two away and veg out. If they're going to watch TV anyway, use that time to refresh and get away so that when they're all yours again, you can give your full (and un-cranky) attention. In fact, I take my alone time typically when my husband isn't there to bother me, either.
  
• Have a place for everything, and everything in its place. I know, old axioms of life... but this one is so true. If your keys are ALWAYS somewhere, they are less likely to be somewhere else than if they are always... wherever! Get the picture?
• Build some breathing time into your day, as well. If you're running around like a mad-woman, it's going to eventually show.
• Even if it seems monotonous and unnecessary, double check important things on routine activities in your day. When you get out of the car, check for your purse, keys, and kid, and anything else that might be important to bring with you. When you get into the shower, make sure you have your shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor within reach, and a clean towel nearby. It may seem stupid, but if you have these checks, eventually you will hardly notice you do them, and you will less often be without the things you're checking for. You might even remember other things better, with more clarity, because you're not bogged down with the obvious and repetitive!
• If you're going to put a bottle or something in the fridge at a friend's house, put your keys in there with it. A tip from a mom that I know... seems logical to me! Can't forget the bottle if you have to get your keys to leave!
  

Finally, don't worry or get upset if some of these momnesia moments happen to you, be you a mother or father. It will make it that much worse if you're flustered and upset, and it doesn't make you feel any better. Take a deep breath, and just keep on trucking. It happens to all of us!

Migraines, Part Two

So, I've given the background info on my own personal migraines, and the stages of a migraine or "how to spot" one. Here's the part that I find interesting: how to prevent them, and how to get rid of one once you have it.

The first thing that I've learned: acetaminophen (Tylenol) does NOT help. In fact, most OTC drugs do not help. Naproxen sometimes can lessen the pain if, in fact, the migraine is partially a tension headache. Excedrin can also do some good, however, only if you're in need of caffeine. In the long run, taking these kids of drugs will cause more frequent migraines and headaches, and trying some of the natural remedies will not work as well until your body is un-trained from having these drugs at the first sign of pain. Acetaminophen is actually poisonous to your nervous and immune systems, so unless it is necessary, my opinion is, do not give into temptation to take it. It will cause you more pain in the long run.

The second thing I've learned: In this case, the old adage "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is Gospel truth. I can't stress this enough with health in general, but especially for me in the case of migraines.

Honestly, my main level of protection against getting migraines is eating well and regular exercise. This is all about avoiding "triggers" and keeping the blood vessels open and clear. So, "eating well," in my case means eating something every couple of hours; eating as much fresh, raw food as possible (CSA helps); eat hormone-free meats as often as possible; use minimally-processed foods including fats; avoid sodas and other "empty foods"; avoid any processed foods with artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup (or any corn syrup if I can help it), large amounts of plain sugar (if I can help it, though this is least of the "evils" in this way), sodium benzoate, citric acid, mono-sodium glycol or MSG, and other processing products.
Not all the time, not in every case, but... certainly maintaining good overall health is the main thing that has worked for me in prevention of many issues, migraine being at the front.

Finally: Chiropractic care. This is so important for so many things, not just for migraines. But I know that if I don't go when I need to, I will get a migraine. Or, when I do finally go, if I don't ice my neck afterward (because I went too long and the adjustment causes a little bit of swelling in this case), then I might get a migraine. Apparently, the vertebrate of my neck that is constantly pushing itself out of place also causes some of the constriction and spasm of the blood vessels in my head/brain that cause my migraines. This makes sense, of course, because chiropractic is all about having a healthy nervous system, of which the brain is, of course, a major part.


Once I do get a migraine, I personally will try all of these things (though, again, each person and migraine is different):

• eating a green apple or a teaspoon of raw (local) honey (I've heard tell of studies that say the smell of a green apple can for some reason give 30% of sufferers relief. Either way, migraines can be caused by low blood sugar, so if I have a green apple, I eat it and kill two birds with one stone. Honey is a great way to boost your blood sugar quickly, too, but I follow that up with something more substantial so I'm not right back where I was.)
• drinking a couple of glasses of cold water
• ice pack on my neck, base of skull, and/or temples
• between drinks of water, if I have not had any caffeine that day, I'll drink a small amount of coffee, tea, or soda (if my husband has an energy drink, when I'm not pregnant anyway, I'll drink some of one of those), just to get the caffeine into me
• taking my multi-vitamin multi-mineral (or one of each, if I don't have a combined one at the time), and DHA or Omega fatty acids/fish oil. I'm not sure why I do the fish oil, except it is supposed to help with brain function and it just seems like a smart thing to do if I'm already taking a vitamin. However, riboflavin (vitamin B-2) plays a critical role in the proper function of the mitochondria, and it has been shown in studies that a high does (400mg or more per day) can reduce the severity and frequency of migraines. Also (I learned from my neurologist and researched it myself), half of migraine sufferers were found to be deficient in magnesium while in the throws of an attack. Magnesium opens constricted blood vessels, slows inflammation and interrupts the action of neurotransmitters that can lead to migraine. All good reasons to take an extra vitamin if you're suffering, or to start taking one if you don't already.
  
• lay down and relax in a quiet, dark place. This one is dependent on my mommy duties for the moment. I used to ask for a break if I was at work to go lay in the break room with no lights on and relax, hoping that in 30 minutes or so, it would subside enough to finish the day.
• If all else fails... sleeping may be the only option. Or dealing with the pain and doing my best not to be the crankiest person in town.
  

"Green Pharmacy" or "Natural Cures" for Migraines: Dr. James A. Duke is known as the "Green Pharmacist" and has written a few books about herbal remedies. He is supposedly the "world's foremost authority on healing herbs," but he also talks about OTC drugs and remedies that are more commonplace in the US (which is weird to me, because they've been around shorter periods of time and have not been proven to work as effectively, and they're more expensive most of the time; but that is another post for another time). I learned this statistic about migraines from his book, The Green Pharmacy: "For unknown reasons, about three times as many women as men experience this painful condition [migraines]. Women often develop migraines just prior to menstrual periods or during pregnancy, and migraines disappear after menopause in about three-quarters of women." Whew, that's a relief. He also reminds us that no single therapy works for every type of headache or for every person. Any kind of herb that contains "parthenolides" are extremely useful in preventing migraine. Dr. Duke's suggestion is to make a tea/tincture of Bay leaves, which are high in parthenolides, and feverfew. Feverfew is a flower in the family of dandelion and marigold, and is famous in the green community for preventing and curing migraines and other headaches. Steeping 2-8 fresh leaves of feverfew (with the bay, if you desire) leaves in boiling water (but do not boil them, as the parthenolides and anti-inflamatory effects can break down) can create what is called a "tincture" that you can ingest just like a tea. This was Dr. Duke's suggestion and what he would try himself if he suffered migraines.

Other beneficial herbs include willow (the OTC derivative for willow bark is aspirin, and is useful because it contains salicin, a pain-relieving chemical similar to what is in modern aspirin), evening primrose, garlic and onion (blood-thinning herbs etc, also great for preventing heart attack and hardening of arteries), ginger (large quantities, usually combined with other herbs such as turmeric), ginko (improves blood flow to brain), hot peppers/red peppers (capsaicin is what makes things "hot" and spicy, and can also relieve pain; you can snort it, which I've seen done and though effective, is not recommended; you can also use it as a topical treatment, which works kinda like "IcyHot" or other products such), lemon balm/melissa (can be added to the above tea, if anything it improves the flavor), peppermint (mix w/ alcohol or carrier oil and rub on temples a/o pressure points; can be used with rosemary a/o eucalyptus, but be warned that eucalyptus in high doses can cause contractions in pregnant women), and again, turmeric (anti-inflammatory).

Rubbing the rind of a lemon on your temples has been said to work. I've never received much relief from this. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

Caffeine can either help or hurt migraines. If you drink a lot of caffeine and get frequent migraines, cut your caffeine intake to one or two caffeinated beverages a day, and wait a week or two for the withdrawal to wear off. If you don't intake ANY caffeine, try some at the first sign of a migraine, or drink one lightly caffeinated drink a day for a couple of weeks, and see what happens.

Something that may sound "kooky" or crazy: one of the so-called "super juices", Noni juice, prevents migraines better than any medication I've been given. Two ounces or so every day seems to prevent the spasm or constriction of the blood vessels. I heard this after I had already bought a mixture of four juices, mangosteen, noni, gogi, and acai. However, I did not want to drink 8 ounces of this a day to get the amount recommended for migraine prevention, as it is nasty-tasting and expensive, so I bought some noni separately. It does seem to work to prevent about 80-90% of my migraines. But it tastes TERRIBLE! So, I often don't take it. I know, I know...

I think, in this vein, my next post will be about my chiropractor and chiropractic care as a whole. I feel like, just like with modern medicine and doctors, I only know the "tip of the iceberg" as far as what there is to know about chiropractic. But... it's important, and a fairly regular part of my life, my husband's life, and my daughter's life. And it is directly related to health and wellness, and, obviously, to this post on migraines!

So, migraine sufferers, I hope this was of some help, and if you have any remedies to comment/add, feel free! I love to find out what works for different people.

Migraines, Part One

So, a few thoughts occurred to me this week, as I suffered 2 migraines a few days apart. Now, this is not unusual for me. I typically suffer 1 or 2 migraines a week. And when I say "migraines," I don't mean headaches that I can just work through, I mean real migraines. Let me describe them to you. Then I'll post another about how to prevent migraines, and some other "natural cures" for when you are in the throws of an attack.

My migraines, the day of the migraine, usually begin with what are called "halos": things that I see, which are not really there. No, I don't see people or phantasms or anything like that. I see basically what looks like the metallic swirls on the surface of gasoline... except they are geometric in organization and typically consist of a pattern made with a bunch of triangles. Sometimes, it just begins with my inability to read, missing words, etc. I almost always try for a few minutes to shake it off before I realize that, yes, this is going to be a migraine. You'd think, with the warning signs of the previous day or two, I would be prepared, but I usually am not. Here is what I describe as a typical 'migraine timeline':

1. "The Wind-up." The day before, I am exceptionally cranky and my muscles feel fatigued. I am tired, and caffeine doesn't do anything for it, nor do B vitamins, drinking extra water or yerba mate, or anything else that usually helps. Sometimes, going for a walk can help, but other times, it makes my sore muscles cramp.
2. "The Warning." The day of, I usually have muscle stiffness in my neck. Then I see the halos or auras. Usually this lasts about 20-30 minutes before I actually get a full-blown migraine, and before the pain settles in. RARELY have I had what could be called a tactile hallucination. I'll explain this in the ER story further down.
3. "The Migraine." Pain. Throbbing, pounding, pulsing pain. Not searing pain, not dull pain, but very localized and sharp. Sometimes, moving around helps. Sometimes an ice pack on my neck or temples helps. Sometimes, taking an extra multi-vitamin and multi-mineral helps. Sometimes... only sleeping in a dark, cold, quiet room will get rid of the pain.
4. "Headache Hangover." Later that day, or the next day, or both, I have what my mom and I have called "headache hangover." My neurologist loves this term. Basically, it's the time after the headache in which you're unsure if the headache will come back. The back of my eyes will hurt if I move my eyes too quickly, my muscles are still sore, though not fatigued, and my eyes are still sensitive to light. My head might throb a bit if there are loud or screechy noises.

Different people have different experiences with migraines. Some are sensitive to smells, some have nausea, and some are worse than others. My neurologist describes my typical headache as a moderate migraine, and the kind I described to her as being about once a month or every other month as a severe migraine. The kind I had early last week was probably mild; it went away with little intervention. The kind I had a couple of nights ago was... well, one of the most severe I've had.

Anecdote time: The aforementioned "ER" example from 3 months ago.
I was 20-some weeks pregnant at the time, right around 5 months. I had a headache that was more like a tension or stress headache all day, from about 10am, which sometimes would happen when I was working at the preschool. (I mean, I loved that job, but 15+ four-year-olds all day long can be quite taxing). I finished my day and went to my in-laws' house because they had picked my daughter up early and were going to have dinner at their house. As we were eating dinner, my right arm started doing things, completely out of my control. It was nuts! If I thought about it a certain way, I could concentrate and get it to stop, which was good, because I wasn't sure what was happening and I was too embarrassed to say anything to my in-laws.

After dinner, I reclined on the loveseat and my daughter laid with me for a little bit. Something about that, maybe the position, maybe just relaxing, made my head feel marginally better, so we went home and I put her to bed with no problems. I took 2 extra strength Tylenol, my prenatal vitamin, reheated some coffee, drank some water, and did everything I could to ensure that it didn't get any worse. My husband came home, and he immediately asked what was wrong. I told him, and he suggested I go to bed with my "neck pillow" on; this pillow is "u"-shaped and you can heat it in the microwave and set it around your neck. I did this (probably about 9:30 at night), and fell asleep pretty well.

At 2 a.m., my husband had just laid down to bed when he awoke to the sound of me groaning in my sleep. My right hand and foot were numb, and my right arm from the shoulder down was tingling and hurt terribly. My husband looked some things up on the internet; most of them said that these symptoms during pregnancy were enough for an immediate trip to the doctor or the ER. Being two o'clock Friday morning, he told me he wanted to take me to the ER. I objected, and finally we compromised: he would call my obstetrician, and if she told us to, we'd head to the ER. She did, and we did, after calling my father-in-law to have him come over and basically sleep in our recliner so that Jocelyn wasn't alone and didn't have to be woken up to be taken with mommy and daddy to the ER.

Long story short, we were there for 7 or 8 hours. I got multiple blood tests and an MRI. Nothing. (This is the reason I objected initially... I figured that would be the case.) Eventually, my symptoms subsided considerably. The ER doc called a neurologist for a consult. This part of the experience was so "cool" in a way. It was the first time I'd ever felt validated about my migraines. I described my migraines to her, as I did above. She said that was a great basic description of the stages of migraines. I also told her that stage 4 sometimes collided with stage 1 for another migraine. The look on the good Dr.'s face was... well, to me, hilarious. She informed me that was too many, and put her name and number on my discharge papers so I could contact her at another time. She basically told me there was nothing much she could do for me while I was pregnant, and gave me some guidelines, which will be in the next post. After another hour waiting for the attending, I was discharged. Diagnosis? Severe migraine with halos. Like I didn't already know that. Look for Part Two... will have some great migraine relief, naturally.

Dinner With the Family - Sans TV

We had dinner tonight as a family, but because I have a small kitchen table and used it for my cooking, it was not cleared off enough for the three of us to eat at (me, my husband, and my 3-year-old), thus we ate in the "front room"... Not a large enough room to call a living room, and not really utilized in the traditional "living room" style, but basically, that's what it is. There are 3 chairs, set up in a kind of "conversation pit" style, though one is an armchair, one is a glider with a stool, and one is a toddler armchair. Regardless, this is where we ate dinner, which I don't typically like. I really believe in the old concept of a "family dinner." Why else would dinner be the perfect place to go on a date? You look each other in the face, if not the eyes, you talk about things that are important, or about your day, or whatever, and you get to know the people you're engaged with.

I admit, I've done my share of dinners in which the toddler was watching a show, and I was trying to get my food eaten before I had more to do with her or cleaning up or what have you, however I firmly believe in having at least one meal a day that the family eats together, distraction-free. This is a very important part of being a happy, healthy family, in multiple ways: physical, emotional, and relational/psychological health. Paying attention to my daughter fosters her self-confidence, shows her I love and respect her, and allows her to tell me about things that she might want to talk through. Actually, I'm sure it does that for me and my husband as well. In the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, one of the languages is quality time, while another deals with speech and conversation. By utilizing the family meal, you are hitting at least 2 of 5 ways that humans communicate love to one another. Why not try it for a week and see if it makes a difference?! Or do what I do, and try it for 21 days.

I learned when I was a child that it takes 21 days to change a habit or for your brain to make a change. Now, as an adult, I try to persevere in something that I am trying to change, or something new that I'm trying, for 21 days. After this amount of time, I feel it's possible to assess whether or not this change is truly desired, or whether it has made a positive difference. Now, recently, I heard that it only takes 3 days for a preschooler to adopt a change. This was nice to hear, as my daughter has a few habits that, frankly, I've been afraid to get rid of, because I didn't want to deal with a month or two of poor sleeping or other consequences. I know, this isn't the best example of great parenting! But it happens. Now I'm not so afraid. I can plan that, for the next 3 to 5 days/nights, I can expect a struggle, and then it will fade or dissipate altogether, and that is reassuring as well as motivating.



Anyway, back to dinner: tonight I made an old recipe of my mom's, which I believe she took from a Cooking Light magazine in the late '90s. It amounts to "Penne Pasta w/ Sausage and Peppers", though I'm not sure the exact name of the recipe. Here it is:

6 4-oz hot Italian turkey sausages
2 cups (or about 2) green pepper, sliced approx 1/4" thick and 1" long
1 cup (or about 1) red bell pepper, " " " " "
1 cup (or about 1) yellow or orange bell pepper, " " " " "
6 garlic cloves, minced (or more, depending on your taste! This sauce is not garlicky)
1 onion (I used a medium white one & that was great), halved and sliced
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese (I used fresh, low fat from the cheese part of Whole Foods, shredded)
3 TBS grated fresh parmesan (for garnish)
6 cups hot cooked penne pasta (cook while making the sauce)
* 1 25-oz bottle of Emeril's Roasted Pepper and Garlic pasta sauce *

* I could not find this ANYWHERE this time, and I'm pretty sure now he has either "Roasted Red Pepper" sauce, or "GAAAAHLIC" sauce. I couldn't find the Roasted Red Pepper, so I made do with fire-roasted tomato from Newman's Own (a favorite brand), and combined it with the "GAAAAHLIC" sauce, which was fine, but it would be great to find the pepper sauce again. I know, picky picky. You can however look the recipe up and make it yourself, by Google-ing (yes, spell-check, that is a word now) "Emeril's roasted pepper and garlic sauce."

On another note, Emeril's sauces are great because they really ARE all-natural, even though they don't have to be just because they say it on the label. As far as you can tell from the ingredients, there are no "natural flavors", "artificial flavors", preservatives, or anything else that would indicate that it is not 90% natural. Okay, on with the recipe:

Directions:
- Heat a large skillet (here is says "coated with cooking spray" to which I say "w/ a TBS or two of cold-pressed high-heat vegetable oil") over medium-high heat (my stove ended up needing to be medium). (I would also start your water pot for the pasta, so it's boiling by the time you need it and you don't have to wait for the pasta to finish cooking.) Add sausage, cook 8 minutes turning occasionally. ( I did not time this, I just cooked each side until browned.) Remove from heat, let sausage rest, and when ready, cut into 2 inch thick slices. (I cut these much smaller, probably smaller than 1 inch, and I liked this better, personally. But my sausages were also quite thick.)
- Wipe pan with paper towels and re-coat with cooking spray (or if you are me, just return it to the stove; the sausages, being turkey, don't make much grease). **This would be the stage I would throw the pasta into the water, so it will be done by the time you're ready to eat.)
- Saute peppers and onions for 6 minutes (I turned the heat from medium to medium high for this step).
- Add sausage back in, saute for 2 minutes.
- Add garlic, saute for 2 minutes (try not to burn it, as it will turn very bitter).
- Add sauce and simmer over low heat for 5 minutes (up to 10, if you need the extra time)
- Remove from heat, add mozzarella, stirring constantly until melted.

The serving size is 1 cup pasta, with 1 cups sauce over top and sprinkle with parmesan. If done this way, it should make 6 servings at "483 calories" a piece.

I'm not sure why they don't just say "about 480" because they have no idea if it's 483, or 458, or 501 calories that particular time you've made it. But, I guess it makes people feel better. All-in-all, I like Cooking Light recipes (my mom has gotten me 2 of the "Annual Recipes" compilation cook books, and I use them!), but you have to tweak a little bit if you want to be 'healthy' and not just 'low calorie' or 'low fat'. As you do with everything! Eating low-cal and low fat does remove a big chunk of the things that cause dis-ease and poor health related to diet, however, it's not even close to enough, and sometimes it can add unhealthy ingredients into your diet. For example: aspartame and other artificial sweeteners. I could go on, but you get the point. You have to look at the ingredients that are going into your body, and not be afraid to change to something that is inherently healthier!

That's all for the evening, folks! Have a lovely Tuesday night.