Not in the world, mind you. I'm talking about my workplace! There are so many pregnant women at my workplace. I just found out about two more today! I was shocked! (And giddy with excitement!)
So, in honor of them and in light of my new information, I decided to post a few things relating to pregnancy and babies.
FACT: You'll never be the kind of parent you imagine you will be. I am not intending to sound mean here, this is just the cold hard truth. Whatever daydreams you had, you'll get into situations you never imagined and have reactions you couldn't have planned for. There will be times when you feel like the worst parent in the world! There will be times when you'll cry because you miss your kid(s), and you don't want to leave them. Then there will be times when you wish for nothing but twenty minutes away from your kids... or even two days. The point is, you can never anticipate how it will be to be a parent. It's as foreign as being in love before you ever were in love. No one can say anything to truly prepare you for it; it just is what it is. Don't worry so much!
MYTH: There is one parenting style that 'works.' There is no way that you HAVE to do things. There is no way that you SHOULD do things. There is only what works for you, your spouse AND your kids. Yes, your kids will partially dictate what you do as a parent, whether you want them to or not. In my opinion, you WANT to tailor your parenting toward the kid that you have... but again, that's just an opinion, and you don't have to do it! Just relax and do what's best for you all at that moment. Don't worry what anyone else thinks (even your own mom), or how it looks, or what your mom would do, or what your preconceived notions would tell you to do. Don't put up those walls! Just relax and do what is best for your family at that time. It'll all come out in the wash.
FACT: You will get dirty.
FACT: You might not be able to shower as often.
MYTH: You can't do the same things that you did before you had kids. The truth? What my mom always says, "You can do anything with kids that you did without kids; it just takes longer." Obviously I'm not saying you should necessarily do things in the COMPANY of your kids, but anything you did in your life before, you'll be able to do when you have kids if you just make the effort.
MYTH: Childbirth is scary and painful. This is going to sound strange. I LOVE giving birth. Okay, strange, but true. One of the crowning (har har) achievements of my life was giving birth to my girls. Both times. I loved it! It was great! And at the end, everyone was happy and I had a great little baby in my arms, looking into my eyes. I would do it again, and again, and again... if I didn't have to be pregnant every time. I seriously think fondly on the actual active labor and birth of both of my daughters, and that is part of why I would like to have more kids: just to give birth again! It's an amazing experience, unlike any other.
FACT: You will get sick more often with kids in the house.
FACT: Kids fill your life with joy. Even on the bad days, you'll never be able to imagine what your life was like before the kid came along. It'll be like a distant dream... HA! Sometimes that's not so good! But really, the joy far exceeds the annoyance or any pain and suffering.
Well, that's all that I'm going to bombard you all with at the moment. I think I'll post some more information soon about health during birth, labor, infant-stage babies, etc, so if you're interested in that, be looking for it!
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Parent Talk
I mentioned in my last post about some of the books that I'm reading relating to my 'craft', teaching, and parenting. One of those is:
I
LOVE
this
book.
This is re-training yourself with how you talk. And it's really, very interesting.
I am all about words. Since I was a little girl, I've always felt that if you change your thoughts and words, you can change your outlook, your life, your future, and the world around you. This book reminded me of this axiom of life, long forgotten.
Things that I do with my own kids were in this book, both as good and bad examples. Things that I do myself were in this book as things to teach your kids through your words to them. Amazing.
Let's talk about the book's set up first, and then go into more specifics about the content. The book is divided into sections: Choices; Response-ability; The Search for Solutions; Learned Helplessness; Praise, Criticism, and Self-Esteem; Parent Talk at its Worst; Intimacy; Feelings; Increasing Conflict; Reducing Conflict; Odds and Ends. In each of these categories, there are 1-3 page examples. I love the way this is set up visually: Each example is like a chapter heading, but in a talk-bubble, as if in a cartoon strip or comic book. So, the speech that is desired is in the bubble, and the explanation or anecdote of how and why this works is the next page and a half or so. It's really an easy-to-read book. This way, you can read one 'scenario' or 'example' at a time, just taking less than 5 minutes, and digest it as you go throughout your day; or, you could read it through, scenario by scenario, 'chapter' by chapter. You can skip, or go straight through. So, it's set up really well for any type of reader. And the actual "prose" (sometimes informational, sometimes anecdotal) is very easy to understand, but also breaks down some thoughts that are simple but perhaps you've never thought through.
So, I'm in love with the layout and basic concept. On to specifics.
First of all, I love all of the section headings. They hit a lot of the areas that children need guidance in, and even include a section on the worst things you could say and why (which, by the way, have big grey X's in the thought bubble under the words, so you know at a glance they are things NOT to say). Great!
Here are some specific examples within those sections that I have come across and I love even more than other examples:
Who doesn't love a book by a guy named Chick?
I
LOVE
this
book.
This is re-training yourself with how you talk. And it's really, very interesting.
I am all about words. Since I was a little girl, I've always felt that if you change your thoughts and words, you can change your outlook, your life, your future, and the world around you. This book reminded me of this axiom of life, long forgotten.
Things that I do with my own kids were in this book, both as good and bad examples. Things that I do myself were in this book as things to teach your kids through your words to them. Amazing.
Let's talk about the book's set up first, and then go into more specifics about the content. The book is divided into sections: Choices; Response-ability; The Search for Solutions; Learned Helplessness; Praise, Criticism, and Self-Esteem; Parent Talk at its Worst; Intimacy; Feelings; Increasing Conflict; Reducing Conflict; Odds and Ends. In each of these categories, there are 1-3 page examples. I love the way this is set up visually: Each example is like a chapter heading, but in a talk-bubble, as if in a cartoon strip or comic book. So, the speech that is desired is in the bubble, and the explanation or anecdote of how and why this works is the next page and a half or so. It's really an easy-to-read book. This way, you can read one 'scenario' or 'example' at a time, just taking less than 5 minutes, and digest it as you go throughout your day; or, you could read it through, scenario by scenario, 'chapter' by chapter. You can skip, or go straight through. So, it's set up really well for any type of reader. And the actual "prose" (sometimes informational, sometimes anecdotal) is very easy to understand, but also breaks down some thoughts that are simple but perhaps you've never thought through.
So, I'm in love with the layout and basic concept. On to specifics.
First of all, I love all of the section headings. They hit a lot of the areas that children need guidance in, and even include a section on the worst things you could say and why (which, by the way, have big grey X's in the thought bubble under the words, so you know at a glance they are things NOT to say). Great!
Here are some specific examples within those sections that I have come across and I love even more than other examples:
- "Make a picture in your mind." This one is in the Response-ability section, and is about mental rehearsal. Perhaps one of the most popular uses of this is the pre-interview rehearsal. You imagine yourself going into the interview, calm and collected, and having a great talk with the interviewer, who is impressed with you and your credentials. This is one of the examples that I talked about earlier; I use this myself, and (of course!) realized: I should be teaching this to my kids! The author illustrates this parent talk as a method of clarifying your expectation for your children. For instance, before you go to do something, you can have them close their eyes, and "make a picture in their minds"; talk them through the situation as it would ideally go for them. "You're getting ready for bed. You've taken a nice warm bath, had a snack, and now you go joyfully to the bathroom to get your toothbrush. You brush your teeth all by yourself; what a big girl! You go to your room, and pick out a few books to read. Mama comes in, tucks you in your blankets, and you lay quietly on your pillow while Mama reads to you. When it's time for lights out, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep, happy and ready for tomorrow." This sets them up with your expectations of their behavior, and also can set them up for a positive situation, with positive feelings toward you and themselves.
- "You're a car." This is also in the Response-ability section. This is more specific. It gives the example of the author's son coming to him crying because someone called him 'stupid.' The dad turns him around to face him, and says, "You're a car!" The kid says, "What?" "You're a car!" "Dad, what are you doing?" "I'm calling you a car. Car, car, car, car, car!" Basically, the idea is that you lead the child to the realization that he is not turning into a car just because someone said he's a car. The dad says, "[Son], there's something interesting going on here. I'm calling you a car and you're not crying ... Would you mind explaining that to me?" Son says, "Dad! I'm not a car!" Dad: "Well, you know what [Son]? You're not stupid, either." The main idea of this? "MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT SOMEBODY SAYS TO YOU IS WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY TO YOU." It's in caps and everything. I love this. Change your self-talk, or in this case, teach your kids to change their own. "Teach your children where their power really is. Help them appreciate the fact that their power is not in controlling what others say to them. Their power lies within and is regulated by how they choose to talk to themselves." This is SO important. And I absolutely LOVE the example. Very easily understood by people of all ages, easy to remember, and usable.
- "Please make a different choice." As opposed to "don't" or "you can't" or "stop it" or any of these. This put the responsibility into the child's hand to change their behavior, and to decide how to change their behavior. I've been using this in the classroom as well as at home. My Kindergarteners are a tough group this year. I used this sentence with one last week. He immediately changed behaviors to one that was acceptable. This told me two things: (1) He knew what was acceptable, and (2) he needed the incentive to change it himself. Many students respond to added responsibility when they are causing trouble or falling behind. Most people, period, will learn to have more responsibility in the long run if you give them behavioral choices rather then tell them what to do; besides, they'll respect you more to boot. The message? "I see you as responsible for your own actions. You control your behavior. You choose your responses to life." Thus, consequences aren't any one's fault but the person incurring them. (This is in the "Choices" section of the book.)
- "I love you, and I don't like that behavior." This is from Odds and Ends. I'm not sure if this needs much explanation. Just make sure the kids know that what you don't like is the behavior, not the kid personally. If you're a teacher that genuinely doesn't like a kid at the core, first of all, you should think about a new career, but secondly, don't let her know that. Treat her with as much love and respect as you can; discipline the behavior! This is a HUGE deal for self-esteem as well as developing a relationship with you. That having been said, there are going to be one or two kids in the 20+ years you will be teaching that you genuinely dislike. My advice? Get to know them better, use positive mental rehearsal to train yourself to look at the things you like about her more than the things you don't like, and if all else fails remember: she won't be your student forever. If it's your own kid, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!
- "Say you're sorry." This is a phrase that is X-ED OUT! Which I LOVE! I have done this so many times, and I never, EVER have like it. The author makes a few points that I whole-heartedly agree with: - saying "I'm sorry" is a simple penance, and easy out; the kid doesn't have to think or mean what he says - this teaches the child to deny their feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness, and choke them down to apologize. It teaches them to "forget what you'd really like to say." We are doing them a disservice by teaching them to deny their feelings. If a child is sorry, don't coerce her into pretending differently. "Say, 'Tell him you're angry because when he called you stupid it felt like a put-down,' or 'Let Bob know you're frustrated at the amount of time he's taking with the computer game.'" If a child is sorry, she can be encouraged to say so, and learn from her mistakes, by expressing what she has learned from her behavior and what she'll do differently next time. "I learned that you don't like me talking to you while you're on the telephone, and it's my intention to wait until you're finished next time." This way, "we teach them the valuable lesson that to be sorry means to behave differently." I have told many people in my life that the only "sorry" i need is for the behavior to change. This helps me teach this to my kids!
- "I noticed." This is in the Intimacy section. There are variations to this one, but the idea is to communicate "I see you. You are important here. You are visible to me. I notice you. It's a way we communicate to the child that he is valued and appreciated." Also, you can use this to point out that the child is learning something, which they aren't always aware of. "They begin to think and believe, 'I am a learner.' Once that belief is in place, they act more like learners. Learning then increases, which strengthens their belief that 'I am a learner.'" This is the type of positive mental imaging that I LIVE for! Can I say it enough? I LOVE THIS BOOK.
Who doesn't love a book by a guy named Chick?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
planning a wardrobe
So, I'm going through this book, Houseworks by Cynthia Townley Ewer. It's really awesome. It's set up in a really nifty way, really good for my visual ADHD because it's super streamlined but also colorful and interesting. I'll probably mention it again, as it's about organizing your home, your stuff, your life, and your family. One of the things I was reading about today was planning family wardrobes as well as deciding whether or not to mend clothes etc.
This, combined with a Martha Stewart book that I LOVED and made my husband buy me but haven't utilized yet (Encyclopedia of Sewing and Fabric Crafts), I've been inspired to start tailoring clothing on top of making my own clothing and "fabric crafts."
Anyway, the main thing that I wanted to address in this post is wardrobing. Most of us have issues with too much stuff, and possibly on top of it, nothing to wear. I have another book similarly titled.
I have this issue in part because I have gone through so many sizes and styles in the past 6 or so years. Six years ago, I was a size 4 or 6 in women's clothing as I was constantly doing extreme sports, working out, etc, and I had not yet had any children. I was 20 years old, for crying out loud! I hadn't even started DRINKING (for the most part), and I never drank soda or ate much junk food. Then, I started cracking down on schooling, moved into dorms with someone that ate lots of packaged foods (and indulged with them), etc, and I gained my "freshman 15" a couple of years late... It was my "junior 30." So, I have some 6's, 8's, and 10's. A couple more years go by, and I have my first kid. 10's, 12's, and 14's, not to mention the med-xlarge maternity clothes. Second kid, and I'm back down to the 10's and 12's. Wow, that's a lot of clothes, in a lot of styles, going through a lot of years and sizes! And I'm sure I didn't have any kind of color scheme going on, or put any thought into "basics," especially when I was keeping items for use later. So... What to wear? Well, I have 2 closets with clothes that no longer fit in half of them, my normal closet which has half maternity, half random clothes that fit, and some clothes that need to be pulled out of storage in the laundry room, laundered, and dug through to see what they are. That's a lot of clothes, and I have... well, NOTHING to WEAR!
So, posting on a combination of the books I've read about wardrobes:
The heart of a wardrobe is the activities that you will need clothes for, plus a category for "basics."
Thus:
This, combined with a Martha Stewart book that I LOVED and made my husband buy me but haven't utilized yet (Encyclopedia of Sewing and Fabric Crafts), I've been inspired to start tailoring clothing on top of making my own clothing and "fabric crafts."
Anyway, the main thing that I wanted to address in this post is wardrobing. Most of us have issues with too much stuff, and possibly on top of it, nothing to wear. I have another book similarly titled.
I have this issue in part because I have gone through so many sizes and styles in the past 6 or so years. Six years ago, I was a size 4 or 6 in women's clothing as I was constantly doing extreme sports, working out, etc, and I had not yet had any children. I was 20 years old, for crying out loud! I hadn't even started DRINKING (for the most part), and I never drank soda or ate much junk food. Then, I started cracking down on schooling, moved into dorms with someone that ate lots of packaged foods (and indulged with them), etc, and I gained my "freshman 15" a couple of years late... It was my "junior 30." So, I have some 6's, 8's, and 10's. A couple more years go by, and I have my first kid. 10's, 12's, and 14's, not to mention the med-xlarge maternity clothes. Second kid, and I'm back down to the 10's and 12's. Wow, that's a lot of clothes, in a lot of styles, going through a lot of years and sizes! And I'm sure I didn't have any kind of color scheme going on, or put any thought into "basics," especially when I was keeping items for use later. So... What to wear? Well, I have 2 closets with clothes that no longer fit in half of them, my normal closet which has half maternity, half random clothes that fit, and some clothes that need to be pulled out of storage in the laundry room, laundered, and dug through to see what they are. That's a lot of clothes, and I have... well, NOTHING to WEAR!
So, posting on a combination of the books I've read about wardrobes:
The heart of a wardrobe is the activities that you will need clothes for, plus a category for "basics."
Thus:
- Get a piece of paper for each family member, and make a list of activities, adding a "basics" category.
- Inventory current items and list them in their appropriate category. Make sure to check the sizes of the clothing items, especially when there is weight loss/gain or when it is a child, and get anything that doesn't fit OUT of the closet/wardrobe. If necessary, try the items on. You can also make a list and just put the letter of the category next to the item, if that works better for you; also, if you're crazy like me, you can color-code the categories and highlight the items in correspondence.
- Check who in the family needs what NOW and make a 'running list.' This way, when you go shopping, you'll know what you're looking for, and you won't buy blindly, making for a wardrobe that doesn't work as well as spending more than you need to. You'll be happier in the longrun without the sweater that doesn't actually go with anything else in your closet, especially if you bought some shells or other basics that you needed instead.
- Streamline the colors in your wardrobe. Make a scheme for each person. Most pieces will fall into the color scheme so that you know your future buys will be useful; you'll know ahead of time that the aforementioned sweater really isn't you, or really won't have options to wear with it.
- Choose a neutral color for each family member's wardrobe that goes with the color scheme, and get matching accessories in this color, such as shoes, belts, etc. That doesn't mean you can't have other colors, but this way, you'll always have something that "goes" with what you pull out of the wardrobe. In fact, when the books talk about small items being what you should buy in bright or trendy colors, I include shoes, because I love colorful/patterned shoes. That's just me, and it's probably unnecessary and expensive, but that's what I love!
- Choose items that can multi-task into different categories or can double-duty seasons with different add-ons and accessories.
- Choose classics, especially with high price items like suits. A classic black, blue, or brown suit will take you far. No one will notice you wear the same suit every week to a meeting or to church, especially if you swap out colorful shirts, scarves, ties, hankies, etc, and it will look good for anything you need a suit for.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sweet 'N Sour Sauce
One of my daughter's favorite things to eat is sweet 'n sour chicken. We often will get some kind of oriental food, and the restaurants often have a version of this famous American-Chinese food dish. Jocelyn has always loved to eat steamed rice, and the sweetness of the sauce with the standard child protein - fried chicken in bite sizes - makes this dish a winner.
The problem with this is the sauce. Most places have this IMMENSELY red sauce that obviously contains some sort of food coloring, probably red #40 or some other dye that we'd prefer not to eat in such high quantities. If it was just a little, that'd be one thing, but she eats lots of this sauce, and at least once a week, and it stains her fingers, it has so much dye in it. This is not what we'd consider healthy, and to top it off, it stains worse than almost anything else. (And is drippy to boot.) My husband and I have always wanted to try to make our own sweet 'n sour sauce.
Today, we ordered Chinese food from a delivery place nearby, Dragon Cafe Express. We ordered Sweet 'N Sour Chicken for Jocelyn and my husband to share, a family size, and (this is the first time this has happened with this restaurant) we did not receive the sauce, just the entree without sauce. This, as any parent will understand, was a disaster, because without sauce, the chicken might as well be fried radishes or something - it's inedible to a three year old expecting sweet sauce!
We both ran to the computer to Google a recipe, and pieced one together. This is basically what we got:
We decided to use some of the other recipes' ideas, and add a little bit of soy sauce and, since we didn't have straight pineapple juice, some of the Simply Orange juice with added pineapple we had bought for our daughter. Probably about 1 - 2 TBS of each.
The sauce was a hit! It was a bit thick once it cooled to luke warm (a good eating temperature), and we decided we would use a different recipe without ketchup next time to adapt to the thickness problem as well as the pseudo-ketchup flavor. It kind of reminded me of a mild BBQ sauce you might get on deli meatloaf or something. We also thought we'd use apple cider vinegar or rice vinegar instead of the plain white vinegar, just to give it dimension. I actually liked the orange+pineapple; you could almost make an "Orange Chicken" sauce by adapting this sauce to have more of the juice. Some of the recipes called for adding minced garlic, ginger, or chives/green onions, and some called for making an infusion with said ingredients, also perhaps adding crushed red pepper flakes or a red pepper itself for flavor. Also, many added salt, but if we are adding soy sauce, we decided not to add the salt.
All-in-all, it was fun, fast, and easy to make, and making the chicken itself wouldn't be that hard! (Though maybe a little messy... I'm not a fan of frying at home, especially without a deep fryer.)
I was so impressed with my husband and I, both that we were working so well as a team, had the same idea, and carried it out to a yummy completion! My daughter never knew that we didn't actually receive the sauce. A beautiful way to do lunch (and to learn a new, quick weeknight recipe)!
The problem with this is the sauce. Most places have this IMMENSELY red sauce that obviously contains some sort of food coloring, probably red #40 or some other dye that we'd prefer not to eat in such high quantities. If it was just a little, that'd be one thing, but she eats lots of this sauce, and at least once a week, and it stains her fingers, it has so much dye in it. This is not what we'd consider healthy, and to top it off, it stains worse than almost anything else. (And is drippy to boot.) My husband and I have always wanted to try to make our own sweet 'n sour sauce.
Today, we ordered Chinese food from a delivery place nearby, Dragon Cafe Express. We ordered Sweet 'N Sour Chicken for Jocelyn and my husband to share, a family size, and (this is the first time this has happened with this restaurant) we did not receive the sauce, just the entree without sauce. This, as any parent will understand, was a disaster, because without sauce, the chicken might as well be fried radishes or something - it's inedible to a three year old expecting sweet sauce!
We both ran to the computer to Google a recipe, and pieced one together. This is basically what we got:
- 1/2 c ketchup
- 1/3 c vinegar
- 2/3 c brown sugar
- 1/2 c water
- 1 TBS corn starch
We decided to use some of the other recipes' ideas, and add a little bit of soy sauce and, since we didn't have straight pineapple juice, some of the Simply Orange juice with added pineapple we had bought for our daughter. Probably about 1 - 2 TBS of each.
The sauce was a hit! It was a bit thick once it cooled to luke warm (a good eating temperature), and we decided we would use a different recipe without ketchup next time to adapt to the thickness problem as well as the pseudo-ketchup flavor. It kind of reminded me of a mild BBQ sauce you might get on deli meatloaf or something. We also thought we'd use apple cider vinegar or rice vinegar instead of the plain white vinegar, just to give it dimension. I actually liked the orange+pineapple; you could almost make an "Orange Chicken" sauce by adapting this sauce to have more of the juice. Some of the recipes called for adding minced garlic, ginger, or chives/green onions, and some called for making an infusion with said ingredients, also perhaps adding crushed red pepper flakes or a red pepper itself for flavor. Also, many added salt, but if we are adding soy sauce, we decided not to add the salt.
All-in-all, it was fun, fast, and easy to make, and making the chicken itself wouldn't be that hard! (Though maybe a little messy... I'm not a fan of frying at home, especially without a deep fryer.)
I was so impressed with my husband and I, both that we were working so well as a team, had the same idea, and carried it out to a yummy completion! My daughter never knew that we didn't actually receive the sauce. A beautiful way to do lunch (and to learn a new, quick weeknight recipe)!
Friday, July 30, 2010
This is not me telling you to stop living. This is me telling you to START.
I have always been the type of person that is completely content in the station of life that I am in. I abhor the feeling of wanting to get something over with, and I am mostly a "live in the moment" sort of person, so I like to get the most out of what I'm actually doing at any given time. I never wanted to be a different age than I was, growing up, either. I was happy to be a kid when I was young. I was happy to be a teenager when I was 16. I was happy to be in college when I was doing that. I did grow a little impatient to get finished with college, but I believe that was because I transferred colleges, switched majors twice, and got married and had a kid in the middle, so it took me a LONG time to get my degree. Not to mention, it was a really long degree. But I enjoyed my student teaching experience when I got there, and I was really excited most of the time to be doing whatever it was I was doing.
The same thing with my first pregnancy. I was really uncomfortable at the end, but I was still happy to be pregnant until the week that I ended up being told I was going to be induced anyway. That week, I had pitting edemas (I was so swollen that when you pressed on my skin, it sank in and did not bounce back out, making "pits"), my face and nose were so swollen that you could hardly recognize me (I thought), I could barely walk because I couldn't flex my ankles, and I was a little bit scared as my daughter and stomach had stopped growing. Luckily, my obstetrician shared my worries and gave me a few more days before inducing.
This time, I am really healthy. I haven't gained much weight, mostly because I didn't lose any of the 70 pounds I gained with Jocelyn, so I was technically "obese" when I got pregnant, but also because I had some NASTY morning sickness in the first half. I will never forget asking my mom to make her famous boef bourguignon for my birthday this year, and then her half-laughing at my disgusted face as I tried to choke down as much as possible of it. It tasted so good, but I could barely keep anything down! Back to the point, I haven't gained much weight this pregnancy, just over 10 pounds (3 of which were this week, oops). I'm healthy and I've been eating a lot better than I was able to with my first pregnancy. I'm also happier. My husband and I had literally JUST gotten married when we became pregnant with our first child. I came home from our honeymoon, expecting to start my "cycle" within two days, and I never did. So, not only did we have to get used to being married, but I was a hormonal wreck and my husband didn't know what he had gotten himself into. Then, we had to make room in our already cramped and new life for another person. We were less than prepared, and our marriage suffered for it at first. It's hard enough to get married and learn to live with that person without adding another crazy life changing element! My husband and I, when we got pregnant this time, were still not expecting the pregnancy, but we were happier about it and better prepared in the foundation of our marriage to handle another little person being entrusted to our care. Besides, my husband realizes now that sometimes, I'm just not very nice (and especially when I'm pregnant), and it really has absolutely nothing to do with him personally! Ha!
However, in spite of all of these things, I am extremely impatient to get this baby out and get back to being able to move around. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at 9 weeks, and I was induced at 38 weeks to the day. This time, I knew I was pregnant within less than 3 weeks, and I'm 38 weeks and 4 days as of tonight. So, it's been a "longer" pregnancy, in a way. Also, I am not as anxious/scared for how it will go in the hospital, so I'm prepared to get there and push the baby out. One thing that I am anxious about that makes me want to go into labor faster? I have no idea what it's like to just go into labor spontaneously, or to have my water break. I don't know what to expect. With Jocelyn, I had a scheduled time to go to the hospital, get into a gown, and get hooked up to an IV to get started. After a while, my water was broken for me, so when I got up to go to the bathroom, I wasn't surprised to find myself leaking, and I had a little blood to go with it since it was broken unnaturally, so I knew exactly what was going on. Plus, there were nurses around all the time to coach me and tell me what was going on. It took almost an entire day in the hospital before I was able to hold the baby in my arms, but it was all so predictable. This time, I keep feeling like it's going to happen, like I'll go into labor... and then for a day, I feel fine (if tired), great in fact, and have few contractions. I don't know what it feels like to have a "real" contraction. I don't really know what menstrual cramps feel like, so comparing it to those doesn't help. I didn't feel the contractions in the hospital until they were bad enough to make me want to have an epidural, until the pain was at about a 7 or 8 on the scale. I keep getting pains that aren't really anything like a cramp, and I'm not sure what those are. So... I have no idea if I'll be in the 25% that have their waters break before they go into hard labor, and I have no idea if I'll know that I'm in labor until it's really close to time to push. This, for me, makes me want to get to that stage so I know what's going to happen.
I also want to meet the baby. I'm ready to know what she will be like, if she will have black hair like her sister did, or be toe-headed like I was. What we will choose to name her for certain. Will she cry, or just look at me with baby blues like her sister, taking in the scenery? What will her sister think of her, for real? Will she understand as well as she seems to now? How will it feel to love two children? I love my daughter so much, more than you can imagine before you have kids. It's so different, the love of a mother for her daughter. But, she's so special. How will I love the next one? Will it be the same? Will it be different? Will it be... both the same and different? Will I feel so strongly for this one, or will it be more casual because I've done it all before? I want Jocelyn to feel all the same things I feel, because she's my daughter and I love her and... that's the way our relationship works. What if she resents this baby? How will that change how I feel? I can't know these things until the baby comes. So I am EXTREMELY impatient to find out.
Strange thing happened, though, yesterday and this morning. I decided to pray about it, to give this up because I can't decide when this baby is coming. She's got to come on God's time. "Baby's have no concept of the clock," many wise moms have said, "they come when they're ready." But I was SO impatient, and I abhor that feeling of waiting for something to happen for my life to be content. So, I prayed, and said to God, "I know that you know better than I do what will be the perfect time for this baby to arrive. You have knowledge of things that are beyond my reach. So, I pray she comes when she's supposed to come, and when it works out the best for all involved, and I pray that I have peace until that time." Or, something to that effect.
I talked to my mom this morning. She's kind of my go-to person to help me with Jocelyn and be here for me when the baby comes. I've kind of wondered if I should ask her to come sooner, because I feel really alone and like I can't get anything done on my own anymore, and I just want my mommy. But then when I talked to her, I found out she's super sick with a sinus infection that is also wreaking havoc on her digestive tract, and she can't come right now anyway. She wasn't going to say that, I don't think, but I told her not to be worried and just relax and get better, because I felt today as if the baby had a while longer (I had been feeling like it was any time now, but I think maybe that was wishful thinking giving me psychosomatic labor symptoms). Then she said "that's great, because I don't think I could make it there right now."
God's timing. Baby's not ready. Gram's not ready.
Jocelyn is ready, though. I didn't tell her Gram was coming when the baby came, or that she got to go home with Gram for a while after the baby came, but today: "When is Gram coming? Is she going to take me to her house soon?" "Where's my Gram? I want Gram." And "I want Gram, and I want Papa too. He can come if Gram still is taking me to Gram's house." That's one smart kiddo. Must have heard me talking about it.
So, if you're the type of person that is always wanting something to change, always thinking "if only ___, then I'd be happy"... listen up. You'll always want more that way. Be happy with what you've got, or change it now! Then be happy with that. Don't continue to want more, or different, or whatever. Just be happy. Be happy that you're in the transition. Be happy that you're searching for something new to make you happy. Be happy you're doing the work you need to be doing right now. Work hard so that you can play hard. Because I can't imagine living life like that. Why bother living if you're never going to be happy, always looking for something more? This is not me telling you to stop living. This is me telling you to START. I can't hardly stand it, and I'm glad I got rid of the feeling and I am slowly reminding myself that, hey, you're pregnant, and you may never be pregnant again, so you might as well enjoy the perks, even if they are few and far between. I am reminding myself not to worry about labor, my family, if my baby will be anywhere near as sweet and well-behaved as my daughter... because I can't do much about it, nothing at the moment, anyway.
Take it from me, it's so much better to "begin everyday as if it were on purpose."
The same thing with my first pregnancy. I was really uncomfortable at the end, but I was still happy to be pregnant until the week that I ended up being told I was going to be induced anyway. That week, I had pitting edemas (I was so swollen that when you pressed on my skin, it sank in and did not bounce back out, making "pits"), my face and nose were so swollen that you could hardly recognize me (I thought), I could barely walk because I couldn't flex my ankles, and I was a little bit scared as my daughter and stomach had stopped growing. Luckily, my obstetrician shared my worries and gave me a few more days before inducing.
This time, I am really healthy. I haven't gained much weight, mostly because I didn't lose any of the 70 pounds I gained with Jocelyn, so I was technically "obese" when I got pregnant, but also because I had some NASTY morning sickness in the first half. I will never forget asking my mom to make her famous boef bourguignon for my birthday this year, and then her half-laughing at my disgusted face as I tried to choke down as much as possible of it. It tasted so good, but I could barely keep anything down! Back to the point, I haven't gained much weight this pregnancy, just over 10 pounds (3 of which were this week, oops). I'm healthy and I've been eating a lot better than I was able to with my first pregnancy. I'm also happier. My husband and I had literally JUST gotten married when we became pregnant with our first child. I came home from our honeymoon, expecting to start my "cycle" within two days, and I never did. So, not only did we have to get used to being married, but I was a hormonal wreck and my husband didn't know what he had gotten himself into. Then, we had to make room in our already cramped and new life for another person. We were less than prepared, and our marriage suffered for it at first. It's hard enough to get married and learn to live with that person without adding another crazy life changing element! My husband and I, when we got pregnant this time, were still not expecting the pregnancy, but we were happier about it and better prepared in the foundation of our marriage to handle another little person being entrusted to our care. Besides, my husband realizes now that sometimes, I'm just not very nice (and especially when I'm pregnant), and it really has absolutely nothing to do with him personally! Ha!
However, in spite of all of these things, I am extremely impatient to get this baby out and get back to being able to move around. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at 9 weeks, and I was induced at 38 weeks to the day. This time, I knew I was pregnant within less than 3 weeks, and I'm 38 weeks and 4 days as of tonight. So, it's been a "longer" pregnancy, in a way. Also, I am not as anxious/scared for how it will go in the hospital, so I'm prepared to get there and push the baby out. One thing that I am anxious about that makes me want to go into labor faster? I have no idea what it's like to just go into labor spontaneously, or to have my water break. I don't know what to expect. With Jocelyn, I had a scheduled time to go to the hospital, get into a gown, and get hooked up to an IV to get started. After a while, my water was broken for me, so when I got up to go to the bathroom, I wasn't surprised to find myself leaking, and I had a little blood to go with it since it was broken unnaturally, so I knew exactly what was going on. Plus, there were nurses around all the time to coach me and tell me what was going on. It took almost an entire day in the hospital before I was able to hold the baby in my arms, but it was all so predictable. This time, I keep feeling like it's going to happen, like I'll go into labor... and then for a day, I feel fine (if tired), great in fact, and have few contractions. I don't know what it feels like to have a "real" contraction. I don't really know what menstrual cramps feel like, so comparing it to those doesn't help. I didn't feel the contractions in the hospital until they were bad enough to make me want to have an epidural, until the pain was at about a 7 or 8 on the scale. I keep getting pains that aren't really anything like a cramp, and I'm not sure what those are. So... I have no idea if I'll be in the 25% that have their waters break before they go into hard labor, and I have no idea if I'll know that I'm in labor until it's really close to time to push. This, for me, makes me want to get to that stage so I know what's going to happen.
I also want to meet the baby. I'm ready to know what she will be like, if she will have black hair like her sister did, or be toe-headed like I was. What we will choose to name her for certain. Will she cry, or just look at me with baby blues like her sister, taking in the scenery? What will her sister think of her, for real? Will she understand as well as she seems to now? How will it feel to love two children? I love my daughter so much, more than you can imagine before you have kids. It's so different, the love of a mother for her daughter. But, she's so special. How will I love the next one? Will it be the same? Will it be different? Will it be... both the same and different? Will I feel so strongly for this one, or will it be more casual because I've done it all before? I want Jocelyn to feel all the same things I feel, because she's my daughter and I love her and... that's the way our relationship works. What if she resents this baby? How will that change how I feel? I can't know these things until the baby comes. So I am EXTREMELY impatient to find out.
Strange thing happened, though, yesterday and this morning. I decided to pray about it, to give this up because I can't decide when this baby is coming. She's got to come on God's time. "Baby's have no concept of the clock," many wise moms have said, "they come when they're ready." But I was SO impatient, and I abhor that feeling of waiting for something to happen for my life to be content. So, I prayed, and said to God, "I know that you know better than I do what will be the perfect time for this baby to arrive. You have knowledge of things that are beyond my reach. So, I pray she comes when she's supposed to come, and when it works out the best for all involved, and I pray that I have peace until that time." Or, something to that effect.
I talked to my mom this morning. She's kind of my go-to person to help me with Jocelyn and be here for me when the baby comes. I've kind of wondered if I should ask her to come sooner, because I feel really alone and like I can't get anything done on my own anymore, and I just want my mommy. But then when I talked to her, I found out she's super sick with a sinus infection that is also wreaking havoc on her digestive tract, and she can't come right now anyway. She wasn't going to say that, I don't think, but I told her not to be worried and just relax and get better, because I felt today as if the baby had a while longer (I had been feeling like it was any time now, but I think maybe that was wishful thinking giving me psychosomatic labor symptoms). Then she said "that's great, because I don't think I could make it there right now."
God's timing. Baby's not ready. Gram's not ready.
Jocelyn is ready, though. I didn't tell her Gram was coming when the baby came, or that she got to go home with Gram for a while after the baby came, but today: "When is Gram coming? Is she going to take me to her house soon?" "Where's my Gram? I want Gram." And "I want Gram, and I want Papa too. He can come if Gram still is taking me to Gram's house." That's one smart kiddo. Must have heard me talking about it.
So, if you're the type of person that is always wanting something to change, always thinking "if only ___, then I'd be happy"... listen up. You'll always want more that way. Be happy with what you've got, or change it now! Then be happy with that. Don't continue to want more, or different, or whatever. Just be happy. Be happy that you're in the transition. Be happy that you're searching for something new to make you happy. Be happy you're doing the work you need to be doing right now. Work hard so that you can play hard. Because I can't imagine living life like that. Why bother living if you're never going to be happy, always looking for something more? This is not me telling you to stop living. This is me telling you to START. I can't hardly stand it, and I'm glad I got rid of the feeling and I am slowly reminding myself that, hey, you're pregnant, and you may never be pregnant again, so you might as well enjoy the perks, even if they are few and far between. I am reminding myself not to worry about labor, my family, if my baby will be anywhere near as sweet and well-behaved as my daughter... because I can't do much about it, nothing at the moment, anyway.
Take it from me, it's so much better to "begin everyday as if it were on purpose."
Sunday, July 18, 2010
my blog "journal" eulogy
I lost my blog journal. This is where I store ideas and thoughts that I wish to use or to turn into blog posts. I did not lose it in the way that I misplaced it, or do not know where it is by any means. It's right here. My three-year-old more "commandeered" it. Yeah.
It was a pretty notebook, probably a little larger than 5x7 inches, and had a pretty green, brick red, and brown pattern on it, flowers but not too "floral" if that makes any sense. It had three sections, marked off just by having the middle 75 pages edged in brown ink, the others merely with brown ink lines to keep my writing straight.
I really liked this notebook. Can you tell? I'm super picky about notebooks, especially for jotting down ideas versus taking notes for a class. This one was kinda perfect for both, though, actually. I used the first section for a class on Bible prophecy that I went to, and then I was using it for sermon notes and other Biblically-based thoughts. Then the second section, I had used for little notes to myself, so I started using this section also for notes for the blog, since this paralleled nicely. And then...
My daughter decided one day to "take notes" on a sermon we were watching online. It was SO CUTE that I let her use a few pages. Bad idea. Never let the three-year-old do something ONCE and act like it's so cool/cute unless you want it to continue exactly the same way. EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. So, she has been taking my pens and "writing" in this notebook. I can still use it for little blog ideas, but since it really was my parenting fault that led to her use of the notebook on a constant basis, I really felt like I should just give it up and go buy myself a new one.
You have to pick your battles.
I have been failing constantly at this recently, so I decided to let this one go.
However, I have been able to salvage some of the post ideas, and I will be using them again soon. I am very regretful that I have been posting so seldom! Sorry, readers and fellow bloggers. I do feel it is important to keep putting stuff out there and keep blogging often, and I will try this again... I'm setting a day of the week, and if I haven't blogged by that day, I will post something before I go to bed that night. So, readers, be ready! I will have more posts, as interesting as possible, for your reading pleasure!
Oh, and I did find another notebook. I'm trying to keep it hidden from Dear Daughter. It is brown and teal with a floral/paisley pattern. And clean of ANY SCRIBBLES so far. (Cross your fingers, or pray for my slightly OCD way of emotionally handling notebooks...)
It was a pretty notebook, probably a little larger than 5x7 inches, and had a pretty green, brick red, and brown pattern on it, flowers but not too "floral" if that makes any sense. It had three sections, marked off just by having the middle 75 pages edged in brown ink, the others merely with brown ink lines to keep my writing straight.
I really liked this notebook. Can you tell? I'm super picky about notebooks, especially for jotting down ideas versus taking notes for a class. This one was kinda perfect for both, though, actually. I used the first section for a class on Bible prophecy that I went to, and then I was using it for sermon notes and other Biblically-based thoughts. Then the second section, I had used for little notes to myself, so I started using this section also for notes for the blog, since this paralleled nicely. And then...
My daughter decided one day to "take notes" on a sermon we were watching online. It was SO CUTE that I let her use a few pages. Bad idea. Never let the three-year-old do something ONCE and act like it's so cool/cute unless you want it to continue exactly the same way. EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. So, she has been taking my pens and "writing" in this notebook. I can still use it for little blog ideas, but since it really was my parenting fault that led to her use of the notebook on a constant basis, I really felt like I should just give it up and go buy myself a new one.
You have to pick your battles.
I have been failing constantly at this recently, so I decided to let this one go.
However, I have been able to salvage some of the post ideas, and I will be using them again soon. I am very regretful that I have been posting so seldom! Sorry, readers and fellow bloggers. I do feel it is important to keep putting stuff out there and keep blogging often, and I will try this again... I'm setting a day of the week, and if I haven't blogged by that day, I will post something before I go to bed that night. So, readers, be ready! I will have more posts, as interesting as possible, for your reading pleasure!
Oh, and I did find another notebook. I'm trying to keep it hidden from Dear Daughter. It is brown and teal with a floral/paisley pattern. And clean of ANY SCRIBBLES so far. (Cross your fingers, or pray for my slightly OCD way of emotionally handling notebooks...)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Toddler and Pre-school "Discipline"
I have so many books about teaching a discipline in early childhood. I suppose it is partly because I am an "input junky." According to Gallup StrengthsFinder, one of my top strengths is "input." I like to input and collect information, in my case, as does my husband! Interesting combination of strengths, we have. I think also I collect this information because I never had much contact with kids under the age of five, and my degree and certification was in K-12 education... which leaves the under five group still somewhat mysterious. Sure, we learn about milestones and development in early childhood, but not teaching methods and discipline methods. In fact, we actually had NO CLASSES at University of Nebraska at Omaha about classroom management or discipline. I realize that might be an upper-level course, or hard to teach, and that you have to learn it through experience, but I still think a course or two to get you started might be helpful. Especially when there is so much literature out there! How do you know what to trust? Even moreso when it comes to early childhood.
Cry-it-out. Ferber. The Baby Whisperer. Scheduled naps and feeding. Let the baby set the schedule. Breastfeed. Bottle feed. Reverse psychology. Direct commands. Turn it into a game. Time outs. No time outs. Ignore bad behavior. Make it a competition. Remove privileges. There is a plethora of ways and methods to discipline your child, from birth until they leave the house, and beyond.
I have read parts of many books, and a few entire books. Typically, I don't completely agree with any one method. Many sites that I follow say the way to sort through the books and methods is to find one that you mostly agree with, and then follow it to a "t". I disagree. Learn many methods, keep learning, keep asking other moms you trust, keep reading, and keep adjusting as you see fit. And listen to your gut instincts. If you trust these, I truly believe they are what will lead you in the direction you will feel is correct in the long run. However, here are some of the books that I have read on early childhood child-rearing.
Playful Parenting
by Lawrence J. Cohen, PH.D: This is a great book. I mean, it really is. And I actually know of a parent from my daughter's preschool, who is also an elementary teacher, who thinks so as well.
The Five Love Languages for Children
by Chapman & Campbell: actually best for kids OVER the age of five, but something great to be aware of and to help your thought processes about people as a whole, if you haven't taken a look into it's predecessor, The Five Love Languages.
The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One-to-Four Year-Old
by Harvey Karp, M.D. (WOW, that's a long title! But definitely makes you want to take a look, doesn't it?) There is also "The Happiest Baby on the Block"
Child Sense (subtitled: From Birth to Age 5, How to Use the 5 Senses to Make Sleeping, Eating, Dressing, and Other Everyday Activities Easier While Strengthening Your Bond With Your Child)
by Priscilla J. Dunstan. WHEW! Even longer title. But it kinda sums it all up, doesn't it?
Kidwrangling
by Kaz Cooke: I just like this author... kind of too thick to actually read through, you utilize this as a reference guide. She's this chic Australian chick who wrote another book about marriage that I like,
Babywise
by Ezzo and Bucknam (multiple books in this "series" so to speak)
I'd also like to include How Full is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life
by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, as well as the children's book version, How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids
There is also a book that I own called Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids
by Carol McCloud. I'm not actually even sure these were supposed to be supplementary or even complimentary to each other, but I own both, and I'm surprised that neither mentions the other... so I'll look into that in a further post.
I think I will review one of these from time-to-time as I go through them, sometimes for a second or third time. That way, there will be a general synapsis and opinionated review of each separately, but also I don't have to do it all in one post! Which I like, and your eyes probably will appreciate, too.
Cry-it-out. Ferber. The Baby Whisperer. Scheduled naps and feeding. Let the baby set the schedule. Breastfeed. Bottle feed. Reverse psychology. Direct commands. Turn it into a game. Time outs. No time outs. Ignore bad behavior. Make it a competition. Remove privileges. There is a plethora of ways and methods to discipline your child, from birth until they leave the house, and beyond.
I have read parts of many books, and a few entire books. Typically, I don't completely agree with any one method. Many sites that I follow say the way to sort through the books and methods is to find one that you mostly agree with, and then follow it to a "t". I disagree. Learn many methods, keep learning, keep asking other moms you trust, keep reading, and keep adjusting as you see fit. And listen to your gut instincts. If you trust these, I truly believe they are what will lead you in the direction you will feel is correct in the long run. However, here are some of the books that I have read on early childhood child-rearing.
Playful Parenting
by Lawrence J. Cohen, PH.D: This is a great book. I mean, it really is. And I actually know of a parent from my daughter's preschool, who is also an elementary teacher, who thinks so as well.The Five Love Languages for Children
by Chapman & Campbell: actually best for kids OVER the age of five, but something great to be aware of and to help your thought processes about people as a whole, if you haven't taken a look into it's predecessor, The Five Love Languages.The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One-to-Four Year-Old
by Harvey Karp, M.D. (WOW, that's a long title! But definitely makes you want to take a look, doesn't it?) There is also "The Happiest Baby on the Block"Child Sense (subtitled: From Birth to Age 5, How to Use the 5 Senses to Make Sleeping, Eating, Dressing, and Other Everyday Activities Easier While Strengthening Your Bond With Your Child)
by Priscilla J. Dunstan. WHEW! Even longer title. But it kinda sums it all up, doesn't it?Kidwrangling
by Kaz Cooke: I just like this author... kind of too thick to actually read through, you utilize this as a reference guide. She's this chic Australian chick who wrote another book about marriage that I like, Babywise
by Ezzo and Bucknam (multiple books in this "series" so to speak)I'd also like to include How Full is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life
by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, as well as the children's book version, How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids There is also a book that I own called Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids by Carol McCloud. I'm not actually even sure these were supposed to be supplementary or even complimentary to each other, but I own both, and I'm surprised that neither mentions the other... so I'll look into that in a further post.I think I will review one of these from time-to-time as I go through them, sometimes for a second or third time. That way, there will be a general synapsis and opinionated review of each separately, but also I don't have to do it all in one post! Which I like, and your eyes probably will appreciate, too.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
RECIPE TIME!: Swiss Chard, Macaroni and Cheese
I apologize that I haven't posted in such a long time! I will try to make them at least once a week, as I was doing previously.
However:
I have been going crazy with cooking this past week. I have some interesting CSA vegetables from Saturday, and I've been trying to find the best ways, or at least some interesting ways, to use them. The first thing I found was a recipe using the Swiss Chard that I received. I'm not certain that I used enough chard, but I don't think the proportions matter that much in this case. It is a Mac 'N Cheese with Swiss Chard recipe that I found in a "bon appetit" cook book my mom gave me. I also found it on epicurious.com, lucky enough for the blog and my fingers that now don't have to type the VERY LONG recipe!
Basically, it's a normal mac n cheese recipe. It uses Gouda and Edam cheeses... Gouda is pretty moderate in price, but to get 2 cups of packed, shredded Edam, you'd have to spend at least $20 (or I would have). Thus I halved the amount of Edam, added extra Gouda, and added some Gruyere for good measure. I also added an extra garlic clove, even though my garlic was pretty large to begin with, because... well, that's me. I didn't think that 2 cloves of garlic for 12 ounces of pasta was near enough, but I didn't want to change too much, so I only added... probably another 100% of what was expected. I seasoned most of the cooking steps with salt and fresh cracked pepper, as it sort of tells you to do, but not specifically. I might also add extra of all of the seasonings; I can hardly taste the cayenne, and wouldn't mind a touch more, and I loved the smell of the nutmeg and cumin seeds together, but I don't get that same effect in the overall dish, so I might add another 1/8 or 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg. I liberally salted the cooking water as well, and LOVED the fact that you blanch the chard in the same water you will be cooking the macaroni in... helps retain some of the nutrients lost in the necessary blanching step, and probably adds flavor.
My only other change, which I didn't think of as much of a change until after I did it, was to use whole, non-homogonized milk. Oops. I need to learn more about cooking with non-homogonized milk. I don't very often make "creamy" recipes for 2 reasons: they tend to be much higher in fat/calories, and my husband doesn't really like them much (though he does like mac 'n cheese and seemed okay with trying this recipe). The milk, being almost raw/straight from the cow, ended up making it's own "cheese" in a way and became kind of clumpy in the sauce. I should have known that was going to happen, but I totally forgot. This could also be due to the fact that my daughter was "helping" me with the cheese and I didn't get to whisk it as much as I'd like, or keep as close of an eye on it as I'd like. HOWEVER...
It does make an ENTIRE 13x9x2 pan, full to the brim, of mac 'n cheese. And it does make a "healthy" mac 'n cheese, as you can control the butter, milk, cheese, etc that you use, and it does add in a dark green leafy vegetable, of the type which Americans don't get near enough.
We grilled some bratwurst, cut up a watermelon, and had the mac 'n cheese for dinner.
The most important thing is: how did the Swiss Chard taste in the macaroni? Decadent. Truly great. I LOVED the change up, and for those of you that, like me, worried about the mouth-feel and texture: don't. The chard melts in your mouth, and you barely can tell it's there in that sense. The mild flavor permeates the entire dish, leaving you with a different, but silky and perhaps not-so-rich mac 'n cheese that could be served at a fine dining restaurant.
Cheeses being disproportionate did not bother me. I don't know if it would be better or worse changing the proportions of Edam, but to me, this was great. I might actually add a bit of Asiago or Parmesan, especially to the topping, next time. And, to speak of the topping: LOVE the crunchy bread crumb topping. I might add fresh parsley to that next time as well, for the extra peppery bite and for the color. I would also salt the pasta/cheese mixture more liberally than I did. Definitely needs a bit more salt to bring out the flavors.
Amazing recipe. Loved it. Don't mind that I just about ruined my lower back doing the prep work for it!! I suggest you try it... even if you don't care about your health. You'll be getting immense health benefits from the dark leafy greens, but the flavor will BLOW YOUR MIND.
However:
I have been going crazy with cooking this past week. I have some interesting CSA vegetables from Saturday, and I've been trying to find the best ways, or at least some interesting ways, to use them. The first thing I found was a recipe using the Swiss Chard that I received. I'm not certain that I used enough chard, but I don't think the proportions matter that much in this case. It is a Mac 'N Cheese with Swiss Chard recipe that I found in a "bon appetit" cook book my mom gave me. I also found it on epicurious.com, lucky enough for the blog and my fingers that now don't have to type the VERY LONG recipe!
Basically, it's a normal mac n cheese recipe. It uses Gouda and Edam cheeses... Gouda is pretty moderate in price, but to get 2 cups of packed, shredded Edam, you'd have to spend at least $20 (or I would have). Thus I halved the amount of Edam, added extra Gouda, and added some Gruyere for good measure. I also added an extra garlic clove, even though my garlic was pretty large to begin with, because... well, that's me. I didn't think that 2 cloves of garlic for 12 ounces of pasta was near enough, but I didn't want to change too much, so I only added... probably another 100% of what was expected. I seasoned most of the cooking steps with salt and fresh cracked pepper, as it sort of tells you to do, but not specifically. I might also add extra of all of the seasonings; I can hardly taste the cayenne, and wouldn't mind a touch more, and I loved the smell of the nutmeg and cumin seeds together, but I don't get that same effect in the overall dish, so I might add another 1/8 or 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg. I liberally salted the cooking water as well, and LOVED the fact that you blanch the chard in the same water you will be cooking the macaroni in... helps retain some of the nutrients lost in the necessary blanching step, and probably adds flavor.
My only other change, which I didn't think of as much of a change until after I did it, was to use whole, non-homogonized milk. Oops. I need to learn more about cooking with non-homogonized milk. I don't very often make "creamy" recipes for 2 reasons: they tend to be much higher in fat/calories, and my husband doesn't really like them much (though he does like mac 'n cheese and seemed okay with trying this recipe). The milk, being almost raw/straight from the cow, ended up making it's own "cheese" in a way and became kind of clumpy in the sauce. I should have known that was going to happen, but I totally forgot. This could also be due to the fact that my daughter was "helping" me with the cheese and I didn't get to whisk it as much as I'd like, or keep as close of an eye on it as I'd like. HOWEVER...
It does make an ENTIRE 13x9x2 pan, full to the brim, of mac 'n cheese. And it does make a "healthy" mac 'n cheese, as you can control the butter, milk, cheese, etc that you use, and it does add in a dark green leafy vegetable, of the type which Americans don't get near enough.
We grilled some bratwurst, cut up a watermelon, and had the mac 'n cheese for dinner.
The most important thing is: how did the Swiss Chard taste in the macaroni? Decadent. Truly great. I LOVED the change up, and for those of you that, like me, worried about the mouth-feel and texture: don't. The chard melts in your mouth, and you barely can tell it's there in that sense. The mild flavor permeates the entire dish, leaving you with a different, but silky and perhaps not-so-rich mac 'n cheese that could be served at a fine dining restaurant.
Cheeses being disproportionate did not bother me. I don't know if it would be better or worse changing the proportions of Edam, but to me, this was great. I might actually add a bit of Asiago or Parmesan, especially to the topping, next time. And, to speak of the topping: LOVE the crunchy bread crumb topping. I might add fresh parsley to that next time as well, for the extra peppery bite and for the color. I would also salt the pasta/cheese mixture more liberally than I did. Definitely needs a bit more salt to bring out the flavors.
Amazing recipe. Loved it. Don't mind that I just about ruined my lower back doing the prep work for it!! I suggest you try it... even if you don't care about your health. You'll be getting immense health benefits from the dark leafy greens, but the flavor will BLOW YOUR MIND.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Momnesia: The Shrinking Brain
We all know that when we are confronted with a pregnant woman that seems to be forgetful, this is just par for the course. This lady can't do a thing about it! But is this a psychological phenomenon, based solely on the distraction of growing this new life and having to prepare for it? Or is it also physical, effected by hormones and other physiological changes? And what can we do about it?
I definitely have suffered momnesia. I have worked hard for over a decade to get better about knowing exactly where my keys are, what I need at the grocery store, and what my to-do's and deadlines consist of that day. I felt great the past year before my recent pregnancy, because I had finally gotten over the newness of having a daughter and being a college graduate with a job, and I had gotten into a groove. No more lost keys, no more "where's my cell phone?" ... Well, okay, sometimes, but it did become a lot more calm and I felt so much more "myself." So, was this just because I had psychologically gotten used to it? Was it that my daughter slept 12 hours at a time, and I finally got the sleep I needed on a regular basis? Or did I finally get over that hormone hump?
USAToday.com put out an article I recently read on the phenomenon now being labeled as "momnesia." Basically, this article, among other I've read surrounding the issue, has said "yes" to all of the questions. Yes, it is sleep deprivation! Yes, hormones play a huge part, in three ways: (1) The amazingly high level of hormones that women have during pregnancy and for a few months after giving birth can in fact have an effect on concentration as well as perceived IQ. The level of hormones that continue to be coursed through the system of breastfeeding women tend to be just enough to cause a slightly elevated mood along with that generally pleasant "fuzzy brain" feeling... Pleasant until you're trying to corral multiple kids, make a marketing plan, or otherwise get something accomplished with a common outcome of "what was I doing again?" (2) Levels of hormones going from so high back to 'normal' can take a big toll on the body (and mind!). And (3) ... what was the third way again? I'll think of it...
"Stress, sleep deprivation and postpartum hormonal swings are definitely mind-altering" so says one of the experts quoted in the USAToday.com article. In fact, the article states that fathers get some of the changes, too, proving it is not SOLELY physical. Which, to me, was obvious. One of the major life stressors and changes is having a baby, be it the first or the fifth (not sure about past that...).
So, it's physical as much as psychological. Groovy. Now what do I do about it?
Here are my tips to moms going through the mess:
Finally, don't worry or get upset if some of these momnesia moments happen to you, be you a mother or father. It will make it that much worse if you're flustered and upset, and it doesn't make you feel any better. Take a deep breath, and just keep on trucking. It happens to all of us!
I definitely have suffered momnesia. I have worked hard for over a decade to get better about knowing exactly where my keys are, what I need at the grocery store, and what my to-do's and deadlines consist of that day. I felt great the past year before my recent pregnancy, because I had finally gotten over the newness of having a daughter and being a college graduate with a job, and I had gotten into a groove. No more lost keys, no more "where's my cell phone?" ... Well, okay, sometimes, but it did become a lot more calm and I felt so much more "myself." So, was this just because I had psychologically gotten used to it? Was it that my daughter slept 12 hours at a time, and I finally got the sleep I needed on a regular basis? Or did I finally get over that hormone hump?
USAToday.com put out an article I recently read on the phenomenon now being labeled as "momnesia." Basically, this article, among other I've read surrounding the issue, has said "yes" to all of the questions. Yes, it is sleep deprivation! Yes, hormones play a huge part, in three ways: (1) The amazingly high level of hormones that women have during pregnancy and for a few months after giving birth can in fact have an effect on concentration as well as perceived IQ. The level of hormones that continue to be coursed through the system of breastfeeding women tend to be just enough to cause a slightly elevated mood along with that generally pleasant "fuzzy brain" feeling... Pleasant until you're trying to corral multiple kids, make a marketing plan, or otherwise get something accomplished with a common outcome of "what was I doing again?" (2) Levels of hormones going from so high back to 'normal' can take a big toll on the body (and mind!). And (3) ... what was the third way again? I'll think of it...
"Stress, sleep deprivation and postpartum hormonal swings are definitely mind-altering" so says one of the experts quoted in the USAToday.com article. In fact, the article states that fathers get some of the changes, too, proving it is not SOLELY physical. Which, to me, was obvious. One of the major life stressors and changes is having a baby, be it the first or the fifth (not sure about past that...).
So, it's physical as much as psychological. Groovy. Now what do I do about it?
Here are my tips to moms going through the mess:
- Leave yourself post-its. I know a woman whom left a post-it on her baby. I have, though this was before I had kids, left myself a post-it reminding me to look at my post-it. "<---LOOK!" It worked! I looked.
- Leave yourself voicemails. I am reminded of an episode of the TV show Gilmore Girls in which Lorelai and her friend were refurbishing an old inn and trying to start up a new business there. She could not sleep and left herself something like 26 messages at the workplace for her floor manager to listen to when he came in! This is an extreme case, but if you listen to your voicemail regularly, it could help to clear your mind.
- Keep pen and paper (or post-it) at various locations around the house as well as a set in your purse or car. This way, if you have a thought, you can write it down immediately. You might have to check a few pads of paper to find it, but at least you can rest assured that, in case that was an important thought, you did jot it down somewhere.
- If you don't already have one, GET A DATEBOOK! Find something that works for you. Franklin Covey is a great company that offers anyone training on how to find and use a planning system that is custom-fit for them. Or, you can just shop around. Their site is awesome and you can find just about anything you need. I do, however, suggest going to one of their stores in person the first time. This way, you can really tell someone that knows the products well what you need, and they can direct you to something that will be more personalized for you and have more likelihood of success. I just can't stress enough, however, the importance of having a place to go to for your to-do list and your schedule. This could even be as simple as a calendar with some space to write your schedule and a post-it with your goals for the day stuck on the date or the front of the book.
- Take a breather. Take some time for yourself every day. Whether you're staring off into space with your morning coffee, or reading a good book before bed, or pruning your garden, or knitting... I don't care! Do something every day that's JUST FOR YOU. Not on Facebook, not doing something utilitarian, just something you want to do and that is relaxing for you to do by yourself. In part, this blog is something I do for myself. But I also read, take relaxing baths (even if I'm not dirty), and sometimes I just go and sit on my bed with the door closed so that I can be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes. If you're a single (or often alone) parent, you can still do this: Is there a time that your child is completely engrossed in something? TV? Game? Art/craft that's not too messy? Take a step or two away and veg out. If they're going to watch TV anyway, use that time to refresh and get away so that when they're all yours again, you can give your full (and un-cranky) attention. In fact, I take my alone time typically when my husband isn't there to bother me, either.
- Have a place for everything, and everything in its place. I know, old axioms of life... but this one is so true. If your keys are ALWAYS somewhere, they are less likely to be somewhere else than if they are always... wherever! Get the picture?
- Build some breathing time into your day, as well. If you're running around like a mad-woman, it's going to eventually show.
- Even if it seems monotonous and unnecessary, double check important things on routine activities in your day. When you get out of the car, check for your purse, keys, and kid, and anything else that might be important to bring with you. When you get into the shower, make sure you have your shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor within reach, and a clean towel nearby. It may seem stupid, but if you have these checks, eventually you will hardly notice you do them, and you will less often be without the things you're checking for. You might even remember other things better, with more clarity, because you're not bogged down with the obvious and repetitive!
- If you're going to put a bottle or something in the fridge at a friend's house, put your keys in there with it. A tip from a mom that I know... seems logical to me! Can't forget the bottle if you have to get your keys to leave!
Finally, don't worry or get upset if some of these momnesia moments happen to you, be you a mother or father. It will make it that much worse if you're flustered and upset, and it doesn't make you feel any better. Take a deep breath, and just keep on trucking. It happens to all of us!
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