My family has been through some hard financial times since our beginning. Money can't buy happiness, but many stresses, problems, embarrassments and worries can be solved simply by having enough money and managing it correctly.
I have two girls, J and E. I worry a lot that they get what they need. We have less money than what we use right now, and it's a constant juggling act to make it all work. We survive on less than $300 per month worth of food for a family of four. It would be better if I could do less than $200, so I'm working on that. But so far I've been able to make due with a little under $300. That being said, I like to buy some things for my kids when they ask. Saying, "no" all the time gets old, even for the person saying it. Today, at Target, we were buying cake mix and frosting. (I have yet to find a scratch cake recipe that both doesn't take all day to make and actually tastes good and not floury. Feel free to help me with that if you think you can...) Tomorrow is my husband's birthday, and though I don't have money for a present, we made him a card and I bought him the things to make cake, costing less than $5. Anyway, we are in the baking aisle and my daughter picks out some Jello. She asks so nicely. So I let her pick out 5 packages (totaling a little over $3). It was the highlight of her day to get the Jello and then later, to make it.
It's the simple things. You don't have to have a lot. You don't have to buy your children everything under the sun. In fact, I don't recommend it. Teach them patience and self-control by NOT buying them everything they ever wanted. You'll be doing them a favor and showing them you love them because you want to teach them about life more than you want to buy things for them. A 68¢ packet of Jello made a kindergartener's night tonight and her lunches for the rest of the week.
Another great thing happens when you don't buy everything the kid wants. You can use it for rewards. Or bribery. Whichever works. I have a friend that randomly and without warning comes with a laundry basket and picks up anything that's on the floor. To get it back, the child has to do chores, one for each item. There are a few catches, though. You get clothes back first, and if you don't have any clothes because you left them all over the floor and you have to go to school looking foolish, so be it. I think this is an awesome system. But, you could also use incentives to get extra chores done. If your child does extra chores above and beyond what's expected, they can earn something. I like the idea of giving some kind of reusable currency and giving the wanted item a price. Such as, use marbles in a jar. Each chore has a payment set out. Two for wiping down the sinks and counters in the bathroom, etc. Then, the model plane you want is 20 marbles. Or use magnetic clips to clip dollar bills and a slip of paper describing the chore needed to get the money, and hang on the fridge or create a board that says "Chores for Hire," or something similar. Then the kids can buy their own stuff. Tada! You're teaching your child to work, save, and be patient.
Find ways to enrich your life without adding more stuff. "Human cholesterol, stuck in the system..." You don't need money, fancy travel, the latest toy or album. You don't need a "damn the world" attitude to have fun. Just go. Do. Love. Laugh. Give. Be compassionate. Learn. And keep strong. Nothing lasts forever, the good or the bad. Just keep on keeping on, as they say, and when you look back at your days, the memories will be numerous and you'll know you lived well.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Just Don't
When you're harboring a hurt, when you keep something a secret, it never protects others, it never saves you grief, it never guards you, not really. The old saying, "hurt people hurt people," is really true. When you're hurting, you hurt those around you. You may not even realize what your pain or anger is stemming from. But it's hiding a previous wound, and in hiding it, allowing it to fester and remain open.
I know this from experience. There is a hurt, a sin, and a feeling of wronged, that I have not been able to be transparent about to anyone. Not a soul. Because of this, it sits. And it never heals. You think time will heal? No. That's just simply not true. Time can make things clearer, or less fresh, but time never heals a wound you never admitted and never properly dressed.
Do yourself a favor. Be transparent. That hurt? Maybe it can help another person that's hurting. Maybe right when someone needs someone to trust, baring it all can give the nudge that person needs to allow herself to trust in you and unload some of her burden. Who knows? But what I so know is that you'll never be as much as you were meant for, who you were meant to be, or do the things you were meant to do until you're willing to reveal it all, with or without apology, however is needed.
Now, I don't mean go to someone that hurt you and pick a fight. I mean be willing to go to someone you trust or be wiling to open up to someone that needs to hear your hurt. Talk about it. Be candid. Be honest in extremes. Admit your wrong, and admit the anger you have felt, the pain you caused yourself and others, or whatever the aftermath. Even if it's been years, there's aftermath to secret hurts. Ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and the others that were involved. If you don't know Christ, you may consider calling to God for his help and forgiveness. (Or, even if you do know Him.) Keep telling the story whenever you're compelled for selfless reasons. Help others learn from your mistake or learn from your openness.
But don't keep hurting. And don't keep feeling stuck. Or miserable. Don't keep hurting those around you. Don't keep walking around with a hole in your heart.
Just don't.
Trust me, I've been there.
In fact...
I know this from experience. There is a hurt, a sin, and a feeling of wronged, that I have not been able to be transparent about to anyone. Not a soul. Because of this, it sits. And it never heals. You think time will heal? No. That's just simply not true. Time can make things clearer, or less fresh, but time never heals a wound you never admitted and never properly dressed.
Do yourself a favor. Be transparent. That hurt? Maybe it can help another person that's hurting. Maybe right when someone needs someone to trust, baring it all can give the nudge that person needs to allow herself to trust in you and unload some of her burden. Who knows? But what I so know is that you'll never be as much as you were meant for, who you were meant to be, or do the things you were meant to do until you're willing to reveal it all, with or without apology, however is needed.
Now, I don't mean go to someone that hurt you and pick a fight. I mean be willing to go to someone you trust or be wiling to open up to someone that needs to hear your hurt. Talk about it. Be candid. Be honest in extremes. Admit your wrong, and admit the anger you have felt, the pain you caused yourself and others, or whatever the aftermath. Even if it's been years, there's aftermath to secret hurts. Ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and the others that were involved. If you don't know Christ, you may consider calling to God for his help and forgiveness. (Or, even if you do know Him.) Keep telling the story whenever you're compelled for selfless reasons. Help others learn from your mistake or learn from your openness.
But don't keep hurting. And don't keep feeling stuck. Or miserable. Don't keep hurting those around you. Don't keep walking around with a hole in your heart.
Just don't.
Trust me, I've been there.
In fact...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
¿Rancheros.... Huevos?
Today I tried my hand at huevos rancheros. I love this dish, and there are SO MANY varieties. Everyone has their own twist.
This may not be the way I would normally try making this dish, but I had some things leftover and was wondering what to do. I thought about making enchiladas; too messy, too much time. I just wanted a quick lunch using what I have already semi-prepared. I thought about a "pseudo" taco salad. I have baby spinach, but that just didn't sound good with taco ingredients. So I decided to take the chunks of sausage with large-chopped green pepper and onions, add some fresh garlic, and go from there. I checked my tiny pantry and BEHOLD! A can of corn, red bell pepper, and black bean medley, ready for the using. I put half of that in, with some lime juice and some "hot and spicy" pre-packaged taco seasoning, along with some extra cumin and chili powder. I shredded some New York Cheddar (white cheddar) that I had leftover from the farm a few weeks ago. I had some flax seed vegetable tortilla chips... and I tried scooping up my mixture with one. Hmm. Not a good combo. Unfortunately, I am COMPLETELY OUT OF SALSA at my house, which is the travesty of travesties and highly unusual.
I felt this mixture needed something to put it over, or something to hold it together. Immediately, I thought of potatoes; this is my go-to neutral flavor-holder. I looked in the fridge one last time. AH-HA! Fresh farm eggs. Of course! I have done this recipe where I have sauteed spinach, basil, and tomato sauce, and poached eggs on top and put the entire concoction over baked polenta slices, so why couldn't I do the same here?
I cracked an egg over my mounded mixture. I placed the lid over the top. In about two minutes, something smells like it's burning. WHAT DID I DO!? I opened the lid, and the egg yolk had cracked. I lightly toss everything and throw it in my shallow bowl over the two cracked chips I placed earlier. I top it all with the cheese and a few drops of Green Tobasco. I think, this was a disaster. Then: Mmmmm.....
It was no disaster. The yolk is still a bit runny, and the eggs are not quite scrambled. The black beans add the perfect creaminess. The corn adds a touch of sweetness. The cheese adds a little sharp bite.
Perfection.
I'm partially writing this post because I have tried out Tumblr for a while and decided I much prefer this venue. Another part is so that I can share this triumph and this recipe with you and empower you to go try crazy things in the kitchen, or just try to make this "recipe." But another big part? So I can remember what I did to make this glorious dish.
This may not be the way I would normally try making this dish, but I had some things leftover and was wondering what to do. I thought about making enchiladas; too messy, too much time. I just wanted a quick lunch using what I have already semi-prepared. I thought about a "pseudo" taco salad. I have baby spinach, but that just didn't sound good with taco ingredients. So I decided to take the chunks of sausage with large-chopped green pepper and onions, add some fresh garlic, and go from there. I checked my tiny pantry and BEHOLD! A can of corn, red bell pepper, and black bean medley, ready for the using. I put half of that in, with some lime juice and some "hot and spicy" pre-packaged taco seasoning, along with some extra cumin and chili powder. I shredded some New York Cheddar (white cheddar) that I had leftover from the farm a few weeks ago. I had some flax seed vegetable tortilla chips... and I tried scooping up my mixture with one. Hmm. Not a good combo. Unfortunately, I am COMPLETELY OUT OF SALSA at my house, which is the travesty of travesties and highly unusual.
I felt this mixture needed something to put it over, or something to hold it together. Immediately, I thought of potatoes; this is my go-to neutral flavor-holder. I looked in the fridge one last time. AH-HA! Fresh farm eggs. Of course! I have done this recipe where I have sauteed spinach, basil, and tomato sauce, and poached eggs on top and put the entire concoction over baked polenta slices, so why couldn't I do the same here?
I cracked an egg over my mounded mixture. I placed the lid over the top. In about two minutes, something smells like it's burning. WHAT DID I DO!? I opened the lid, and the egg yolk had cracked. I lightly toss everything and throw it in my shallow bowl over the two cracked chips I placed earlier. I top it all with the cheese and a few drops of Green Tobasco. I think, this was a disaster. Then: Mmmmm.....
It was no disaster. The yolk is still a bit runny, and the eggs are not quite scrambled. The black beans add the perfect creaminess. The corn adds a touch of sweetness. The cheese adds a little sharp bite.
Perfection.
I'm partially writing this post because I have tried out Tumblr for a while and decided I much prefer this venue. Another part is so that I can share this triumph and this recipe with you and empower you to go try crazy things in the kitchen, or just try to make this "recipe." But another big part? So I can remember what I did to make this glorious dish.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
4 out of 5 Women are Pregnant...
Not in the world, mind you. I'm talking about my workplace! There are so many pregnant women at my workplace. I just found out about two more today! I was shocked! (And giddy with excitement!)
So, in honor of them and in light of my new information, I decided to post a few things relating to pregnancy and babies.
FACT: You'll never be the kind of parent you imagine you will be. I am not intending to sound mean here, this is just the cold hard truth. Whatever daydreams you had, you'll get into situations you never imagined and have reactions you couldn't have planned for. There will be times when you feel like the worst parent in the world! There will be times when you'll cry because you miss your kid(s), and you don't want to leave them. Then there will be times when you wish for nothing but twenty minutes away from your kids... or even two days. The point is, you can never anticipate how it will be to be a parent. It's as foreign as being in love before you ever were in love. No one can say anything to truly prepare you for it; it just is what it is. Don't worry so much!
MYTH: There is one parenting style that 'works.' There is no way that you HAVE to do things. There is no way that you SHOULD do things. There is only what works for you, your spouse AND your kids. Yes, your kids will partially dictate what you do as a parent, whether you want them to or not. In my opinion, you WANT to tailor your parenting toward the kid that you have... but again, that's just an opinion, and you don't have to do it! Just relax and do what's best for you all at that moment. Don't worry what anyone else thinks (even your own mom), or how it looks, or what your mom would do, or what your preconceived notions would tell you to do. Don't put up those walls! Just relax and do what is best for your family at that time. It'll all come out in the wash.
FACT: You will get dirty.
FACT: You might not be able to shower as often.
MYTH: You can't do the same things that you did before you had kids. The truth? What my mom always says, "You can do anything with kids that you did without kids; it just takes longer." Obviously I'm not saying you should necessarily do things in the COMPANY of your kids, but anything you did in your life before, you'll be able to do when you have kids if you just make the effort.
MYTH: Childbirth is scary and painful. This is going to sound strange. I LOVE giving birth. Okay, strange, but true. One of the crowning (har har) achievements of my life was giving birth to my girls. Both times. I loved it! It was great! And at the end, everyone was happy and I had a great little baby in my arms, looking into my eyes. I would do it again, and again, and again... if I didn't have to be pregnant every time. I seriously think fondly on the actual active labor and birth of both of my daughters, and that is part of why I would like to have more kids: just to give birth again! It's an amazing experience, unlike any other.
FACT: You will get sick more often with kids in the house.
FACT: Kids fill your life with joy. Even on the bad days, you'll never be able to imagine what your life was like before the kid came along. It'll be like a distant dream... HA! Sometimes that's not so good! But really, the joy far exceeds the annoyance or any pain and suffering.
Well, that's all that I'm going to bombard you all with at the moment. I think I'll post some more information soon about health during birth, labor, infant-stage babies, etc, so if you're interested in that, be looking for it!
So, in honor of them and in light of my new information, I decided to post a few things relating to pregnancy and babies.
FACT: You'll never be the kind of parent you imagine you will be. I am not intending to sound mean here, this is just the cold hard truth. Whatever daydreams you had, you'll get into situations you never imagined and have reactions you couldn't have planned for. There will be times when you feel like the worst parent in the world! There will be times when you'll cry because you miss your kid(s), and you don't want to leave them. Then there will be times when you wish for nothing but twenty minutes away from your kids... or even two days. The point is, you can never anticipate how it will be to be a parent. It's as foreign as being in love before you ever were in love. No one can say anything to truly prepare you for it; it just is what it is. Don't worry so much!
MYTH: There is one parenting style that 'works.' There is no way that you HAVE to do things. There is no way that you SHOULD do things. There is only what works for you, your spouse AND your kids. Yes, your kids will partially dictate what you do as a parent, whether you want them to or not. In my opinion, you WANT to tailor your parenting toward the kid that you have... but again, that's just an opinion, and you don't have to do it! Just relax and do what's best for you all at that moment. Don't worry what anyone else thinks (even your own mom), or how it looks, or what your mom would do, or what your preconceived notions would tell you to do. Don't put up those walls! Just relax and do what is best for your family at that time. It'll all come out in the wash.
FACT: You will get dirty.
FACT: You might not be able to shower as often.
MYTH: You can't do the same things that you did before you had kids. The truth? What my mom always says, "You can do anything with kids that you did without kids; it just takes longer." Obviously I'm not saying you should necessarily do things in the COMPANY of your kids, but anything you did in your life before, you'll be able to do when you have kids if you just make the effort.
MYTH: Childbirth is scary and painful. This is going to sound strange. I LOVE giving birth. Okay, strange, but true. One of the crowning (har har) achievements of my life was giving birth to my girls. Both times. I loved it! It was great! And at the end, everyone was happy and I had a great little baby in my arms, looking into my eyes. I would do it again, and again, and again... if I didn't have to be pregnant every time. I seriously think fondly on the actual active labor and birth of both of my daughters, and that is part of why I would like to have more kids: just to give birth again! It's an amazing experience, unlike any other.
FACT: You will get sick more often with kids in the house.
FACT: Kids fill your life with joy. Even on the bad days, you'll never be able to imagine what your life was like before the kid came along. It'll be like a distant dream... HA! Sometimes that's not so good! But really, the joy far exceeds the annoyance or any pain and suffering.
Well, that's all that I'm going to bombard you all with at the moment. I think I'll post some more information soon about health during birth, labor, infant-stage babies, etc, so if you're interested in that, be looking for it!
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